Monday, December 30, 2013

10 Hash Resolutions For 2014

2014 is just round the corner. Was 2013 an eventual year for you, hashing wise, in Klang Hash ? Did you contribute your share in making hashing more fun and meaningful whether your were a member for 2 months, 2 years or 20 years or did you expect KH4 could have done better for you instead?

Here are some resolutions for you to ponder for the coming year. While we may joined hash for our own personal reasons, let's not forget the core values of hashing. 

While these lists may not be exhaustive and it's neither wrong nor right, take a minute to reflect on it. Ultimately, no one is bigger than the club. Member come and member goes. If you have a piece, say it or forever keep your peace ! 

Here goes :

1) I shall pay up my subs when due so that I don't have to suffer the acrimony of being denied my beer quotas.

2) I shall call On On when I break a check and connect the papers so that the back and slow runners will not be left astray.

3) I shall behave and remain silent when circle in on and respect the Box so that the affairs of the evening can conducted with decorum.

4) I shall remember that in Klang Hash that there are only 2 rules. Rule #1. The GM is always right. Rule #2. If the GM is wrong, Rule #1 applies. If still in doubt, QUIT !

5) I shall keep in mind that in hashing, everything should be taken with a pinch of salt. Nothing nefarious is ever intended, whatever the situation or conversation maybe.
6) I must adopt the attitude of agreeing to disagree as life is too short to quarrel over trivia matters. 

7) I must ensure that my alcohol intake is not over my threshold limit so that no untoward incidence may occur as there are love ones waiting for us at home.

8) I must bear in mind when setting a run not too be over zealous by setting a long and tough run as not everyone are equally physically fit. If I want to prove my manhood I can always join a man/batang chapter.

9) I have to acknowledge that when I'm elected to a position in the club it comes with responsibilities and have the occasional 'shit' thrown at, but I pledged not to get personal but instead discharged my position without fear or favor.

10) I pledge that as a member I reserved the right to question the committee on the club affairs not because I'm being solipsistic but because I love the club more.


Do you have any of yours to contribute? Feel free to do so. Go to the comment column and say your piece!

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Run @ Setia Eco Park (19/12/13). Hare: Recycle

 Starting trail


As from tonite I shall renounced my legal given name and shall be known as Toy Boy. This I said in the name of my Hash Temple, which is the Beer Wagon. This I said in the name of my Hash Religion, which is Klang Hash. This I said in the name of my Hash God, which is the Tiger Bottle. 


 Getting into the Christmas spirit.


In Summary

A cool evening due to a mid afternoon shower, greeted us as we gathered for today's run at Klang Hash adopted home ground, Setia Eco Park. For those who aren't aware of Klang Hash original 'home', it was then called Furukawa. Due to development there, the area is no more conducive to hashing.

Hare and his other half were greeting us at the runsite before the start off time and it was duly learned that the run was set in the morning and was assisted by what he claimed to be his co hare, ex member Tiger. JM somnambulism was noticeable as he was awaken by the shout of Kernel to flag off the run.

Across the open area we strolled, passed a stagnant pond and from there onwards it was trekking through new and virgin trails. Absence of any hash papers and trodden path bear testimony to this statement. The early downpour didn't make it treacherous but the terrain was made difficult due to the sogginess and unchartered territory.

Paper were not consistently laid at certain stretches and caused vexations to many of us. As darkness creeped in, even in groups and with torchlights on, we were groping in the dark. Time was wasted searching for the connecting papers. The fact that the trail was meandering and undulating made our task more difficult. Credit to those who were considerate enough to lay some new papers, as they were concern about the back runners.

1st runner out at about 7:40 pm and the last group at 9pm. Distance covered was almost 4km, as measured by my GPS but the hare claimed that his showed 5.6km. The discrepancies ? I got no idea ! When we were out some of us were sounding pugnacious and were quick to seek the hare to let him know that we took umbrage for his stinginess to lay enough papers, Battery Rosak being one of them as he was amongst the last to be out.

During circle a few announcements were made. One was that the club finance is in a healthy position. The other was the non payment of subs due. A few members were denied their beer quota because of this and while some took the liberty to pay up immediately so that they can enjoyed their beers, one recalcitrant didn't do so and stormed off after being denied his share. Let's hope cool heads prevailed and when he comes to his senses next week, he'll realized that the action by the club was justifiable.

My 2 Cts Worth

The current situation being such, it rains when it rains, the hare having set his run in the morning and having rained in the afternoon, should have prepared the FROP's and the others with sufficient papers, knowing for a fact the the earlier papers will be soiled and fresh ones need to be laid. No doubt, some were given but it was insufficient. His Eng Choon-ness shows ! In fact, he was smiling gleefully when confronted by some about his mishaps.

With regards to the non payment of sub and your quota of beer being denied, it's written in the constitution, thus a no brainer here! As Kernel vehemently decreed to scribe, a non payment or default of sub gives one no justification to argue. Any half past six lawyer can tell you, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse." Moral of the story : Want your beers? Pay your sub, otherwise keep your big f**king mouth shut !!! 

( Scribe have the misfortune to suffer the same fate two weeks ago but the situation was amicably sorted out with the On Cash, thus these words were harshly written to remind everyone, yours truly included, having a bout of somnambulism when it comes to paying your sub it's no f**king excuse !!! Once, acceptable. Twice, you are asking for shit ! Thrice ! ... better say FO and bye bye.)

Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Many Faces of Klang Hash

This article is for reading pleasure only and it's not meant to insinuate or put anyone on a pedestal. Any resemblance to anyone, past or present, is merely coincidental.

Here goes :

The FROP's : Front runners on papers. What would a run turn out without them. Diligently breaking the checks and shouting On On and connecting papers. Only a handful of 5-6 members.

SCB's : Short cutting bastard! The 'King' is currently having a sojourn in Langkawi. The usual suspects who would take every opportunity to short cut during a run. Only a small number.

The Non-Finisher : Go in on the in trail and subsequently find their own route back before the rest. Their own version of exercise. Consist of mainly the geriatrics, lazy bones and any excusable reasons to go for a stroll only. Burning calories is not a priority. (Not to be confuse with the SCB's.)

The Kiasu Runner : Want to be the 1st runner out. Run off and shout On On with a whimper when breaking a check and considered job done, so that he can be in front of the rest. Glad to say there aren't any but the occasional bad habits do creep in when that person is on a testosterone high to show off his machoism.

Private Partiers : Having their own private party when circle is in session, oblivious to the constant reminders from the box to remain silent. Their ignorance knows no bound. Capital punishment should be enforced as a deterrent. As the hash song goes, " They odd to be public be pissed on. They odd to be public be shot. They odd to be nailed to the shit house and let there to fester and rot. " This is a perpetual thing every week. At times there maybe numerous private parties going on. (Who is brave enough to stop the rot !!!)

The Silent Ones : Exact opposite of the above. Sitting comfortably in their stools, they hardly uttered a sound when circle is on. Probably only an earthquake will shake them off their comfort zone. A minority group. 

Non English Speaking Members : Quite a fair bit here. How they managed to stay in tune and attentive when circle is on is something scribe cannot comprehend as our lingua franca is English.

Non Beer Drinkers : Again, something scribe cannot comprehend. Beer is synonymous with hashing. Why would a non drinker want to join the hash if he or she doesn't enjoy the taste of the golden fluid ? Exercise ? Well, there are many ways of doing it. Hot chicks & sugar daddy ? It happened ! Anyway, we're glad they came along as they contribute to the club coffers.

Music Makers : With their guitars, flute and bongo Klang Hash orchestra is in session, usually after the circle. A small knitted group. 

Hash Choir : To complement the above, usually led by the Grand Daddy of them all, as his repertoire of hash songs cannot be matched by anyone in KH4. This sing along session, unfortunately, drew the interest of only a small crowd.

KGB : A spy in KH4 ? Actually, it denote Klang Garbage Bin. Given to an ex member who is able to devour all that it placed on the dinner table, plus a few additional bowls of rice. With him around, there can be no leftovers and if you are not quick enough when dishes are served, he'll hungrily gobbled up before you could even smell the aroma. Mind you, he's not an obese person !

Don't Fuck Around With Me ! : Only one person can said it with conviction and meant what he said. The rest are impersonators.

Hash Bards : They may sound like a broken records but the songs are still music to our ears. Occasionally, they come out with a gem.

I AM GM : Some aspirants out there. Stand up and be counted. Don't hide behind a mask.






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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Run @ Greenhill, Punchak Alam (29/11/13). Hare: Loud Cock


Newspaper on his left, clock on his right. Trying to sound intelligent or looking silly !

That's what hashing will do to you when you only drink but not run !

The lady co hares were too shy to show themselves.

Laurel would gladly open his arms and ..... legs !

In Summary

Those driving to the run site at about 5:30pm would have experienced the heavy downpour hitting down relentlessly but just as the run was about to start at 6pm, miraculously it suddenly stopped. The hare must have been one relief person.

Rather predictably, we went in the usual starting trail. As promised by the JM during circle last week, we went through a different path. After the 1st check, we could see the new housing area on the left and many would have thought that home beckoned. 

But the hare took us for a steep gradual long ascend and then down into a valley to be followed by another climb, though not as tough as the first one. Once we hit level ground and saw the open area, familiarity would have sensed that it's home. 

1st runner in just under an hour and the last at 7:40 pm, being KH4 newest couple, doing a 'pakthology' in the jungle, taking their sweet time to come out. Though the trail was make soggy by the rain, scribe noticed the absence of muddied bumps. Probably everyone are wiser now and come prepared and experiencing running here has been a good teacher.

RA long absence resulted in him launching into his verbiages to making up for lost time, though it was not falderal in nature. In fact, he managed to tickle a few funny bones.

JM as well as being the co hare, was also the chef and he managed to whip up an appetizing dinner which was not the usual menu from the regular caterers. The meal prepared straight from the stove was well received.

Commercialism have creeped into this area as can be seen from the on going renovations in some of the shop lots. Another hashing terrain will be out of bound soon. 


My 2 Cts Worth

The last run here being a disaster, (the last group out at 11:30pm), today's run could be classified as 'pussy' but yours truly shall not have an hidden agenda and thus credit shall be given to hare and his co hare for having the common sense to set a sensible run. 

We'll be running here again this Friday and the run have been contracted to Prince Charming (PC). We know what happened when he co hared the last run here and PC being PC, we can only hope for the best and expect the worst ! Any thing better than his last will be a bonus.







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Sunday, December 1, 2013

Analysis Of The "F" Word

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “fuck”. It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary fucked John) and intransitive (John was fucked by Mary). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, fuck, he's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word “fuck.” 

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1) Surprise -- “What the fuck are you doing here?” 
2) Fraud -- “I got fucked by the car dealer.” 
3) Resignation -- “Oh, fuck it!” 
4) Trouble -- “I guess I'm fucked now.” 
5) Aggression -- “FUCK YOU!” 
6) Disgust -- “Fuck me.” 
7) Confusion -- “What the fuck...?” 
8) Difficulty -- “I don't understand this fucking business!” 
9) Despair -- “Fucked again....” 
10) Pleasure -- “I fucking couldn't be happier.” 
11) Displeasure -- “What the fuck is going on here?” 
12) Lost -- “Where the fuck are we?” 
13) Disbelief -- “UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!” 
14) Retaliation -- “Up your fucking ass!” 
15) Denial -- “I didn't fucking do it.” 
16) Perplexity -- “I know fuck-all about it.” 
17) Apathy -- “Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?” 
18) Greetings -- “How the fuck are ya?” 
19) Suspicion -- “Who the fuck are you?” 
20) Panic -- “Let's get the fuck out of here.” 
21) Directions -- “Fuck off.” 
22) Awe -- “How the fuck did you do that?” 

It can be used in an anatomical description -- “He's a fucking asshole.” It can be used to tell time -- “It's five fucking thirty.” It can be used in business -- “How did I wind up with this fucking job?” It can be maternal -- “Motherfucker.” It can be political -- “Fuck Clinton!” 

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: 
“What the fuck was that?” -- Mayor of Hiroshima 
“Where did all these fucking Indians come from?” -- General Custer 
“That's not a real fucking gun, is it?” -- John Lennon
“Who's gonna fucking find out?” -- Richard Nixon 
“Why the fuck did that apple hit me?” -- Issac Newton 
“Heads are going to fucking roll.” -- Marie Antoinette 
“I could have used a fucking map.” -- Ulysses 
“Where the fuck is all this water coming from?” -- Captain of the Titanic 
“Any fucking idiot could understand that.” -- Albert Einstein 
“It DOES SO fucking look like her!” -- Picasso 
“Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG fucking wall to keep them out.” -- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty 
“I can't believe I just fucking said that.” -- Patrick Henry
“Fucking backstabbers!” -- Julius Caesar 
“You want what on the fucking ceiling?” -- Michelangelo 
“Fellatio is not fucking!” -- Bill Clinton 
“Where is that fucking pizza guy?” -- Elvis 
“Why? Because its fucking there!” -- Sir Edmund Hilary
“I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?” -- Joan of Arc 
“Scattered fucking showers my ass.” -- Noah 
“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.” -- John F. Kennedy 
“What are the fucking chances I'm going to heaven?” -- Adolf Hitler 
“Hey, where the fuck are your turbans?” -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the “Indians”.



Source: Jokes.Com






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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Run @ Bkt. Subang (22/11/13). Hare: Slow Ass


Yours truly, Slow Ass, the Hare.

Guess who is the uninvited guest ?

Earned her hash name because she caught a live rooster during a hash run. Believe it or not !

Your cure for your constipation problem.

It's confirmed. Constantly sitting on ice will restore your virginity. TUVM ( Thank you very much).

In Summary

With the recent evening downpour being unpredictable and dark clouds hovering above, a silent prayer was whispered by yours truly. Arrived at the run site at about 3:15 pm and were greeted by the presence of 2 uninvited co-hares, namely Power Ranger (though he did seek consent) and Gold Digger (GD).

Half an hour later my 2 consultants co-hares arrived and Messy was quick to suggest another area. Thus we drove a short distance in from our usual spot passing through some newly built but vacant houses. 

The last minute change caught yours truly unaware and not adequate hash signs were made and have to do a quick McGyver thing. There were some complaints but eventually all found the new parking area.  (As a general rule, follow the direction of the last one until you see the next sign).

Just as we were about to go in at about 4:10pm, scribe was duly informed that the usual FROP's were away at a Gasing Do in Lumut. Instinctively, yours truly goes into a cautious mood, a quick mental note to keep the checks uncomplicated.  

Messy, the chief engineer, lead the pack. Loud Cock followed suit and was quick to delegate the laying of the trail to Gold Digger and yours truly was last, to ensure that the papers were properly laid. Power Ranger kept his own counsel.

At the early stage when we came across the fringes of a jungle, Messy pointed to indicate whether to go in or not and before I could answer GD read my mind and said "No". The run was mainly through oil palm and 4 checks were laid. Many would have noticed the continued presence of Wanker papers.

When we came out at about 5:40pm, home was just a stone throw away. We took a peep and saw there was a crowd. My co-hares looked at me, asking, "Another 20 mins before the run starts, shall we wait for them to go in and should we walk out ?" We chose the latter. 

Total distance covered was 4.8 km. 1st runner, Ubat, out at 6:40pm and the last at 7:20pm. Claimed that he could have been out earlier if not for the fact that beside breaking the last 2 checks, in the absence of FROP's he has to connect the papers himself.

At about 10pm, there was only a core group of 10 left. At another corner, some outsiders were having their own private party. No wanting to invite trouble, we adjourned and drove out to another location, our usual run site. Under the bright street lights, the merriment resumed. Yours truly left at about 11:30pm with the rest still continuing the camaraderie.

Last but not least 

As was expected by yours truly, when we came out before 6pm, Laurel was quick to admonish me, " Eh, you don't practice what you preach ah!! " Those of you who have been reading my blog will know how I advocate that hares should not be seen before the run start. On that count, I'm guilty as charge !

During circle when Music Ranger was asked to comment about the run and he succinctly mentioned, " It took 3 batangs to set a pussy run". Couldn't said it better, considering collectively the 3 Batangs have clocked close to 100 years of hashing. Again as the hare, I take responsibilities. Guilty as charge !

Other misdemeanors include complaints of not enough papers at the start, absence of hash signs at strategic points which induced members into confusion of where the car park is. Again, guilty as charge !

With so many offenses being committed, if you were the judge, would you direct your jury (ie You! You! & You!) to come to a verdict of "Guilty", where the sentence will be to hang the hare on high ground and tickled his toes so that he'll be constipated with laughter (yah, you've read it before somewhere) or dismissed today's run due to technicalities and ....... ahem, I'm being narcissistic here, he's a nice guy, we'll give him an On Down, make him sit on ice with his pants down so that all the girls, oops I meant the gays can admired his bump, (which was what I did anyway during circle.) Sentence passed, case dismissed. Next one please !

My 2 Cts Worth.

Granted today's run maybe 'pussy' in nature, but would you want a 'lang cheow' run like what were experienced of late, getting lost in the jungle, coming out at 10-11pm, muddied, treacherous and jungle bashing terrains. I rest my case. 







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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

KLANG HASH

K - Klang Hash House Harriers & Harriettes is our registered name. We are commonly known as KH4 or Klang Hash.

L - Let is be known that we have been hashing every Friday since 13th November 1981. That'll be 32 years and counting.

A - And we celebrated our 30th Anniversary Do on 4 & 5 Nov 2011 at Genting Highland. The event were attended by close to 700+ participants from near and far. Were you there ?

N - Now if you were to come as a guest, you're assured of a Run, plenty of Golden Fluid, Good Fellowship and All Night Long Camaraderie. 

G - Give yourself a shot if you have not been to a hash run before. It'll be something you remember, hopefully the Good, could be some of the Bad but for what it's worth, not the Ugly.

H - Hashing is not for everyone though. If you are an extrovert, like sports and Beer is your "cup of tea" you are likely to embrace hashing. 

A - And as hash does not discriminate, any Tom, Dick & Harry are most welcome, provided you behave accordingly.

S - Since we are a mixed chapter, ie male & female, our members consist of married couples, singles, old and young, aunties and uncles etc etc. Simply put, just like rojak, but well flavored. 

H - History will record that KH4 suffered a major crisis in the 80's which caused the club to de-registered. Theses issues have since been resolved and though there were no turbulent times we do face the occasional stormy seas but were able to sail through with capable leadership. Our current membership strength is 80 +






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Friday, November 15, 2013

Run @ Bkt. Beruntung, Rawang (8/11/13). Hare: Cockpit

Ample parking space with plenty to spare.


One Man Show due to absence of GM and RA

The most obnoxious guy in KH4, in his song as well as his language. If ever there was a contest for vulgarities he would win it hands down. 

Succulent BBQ & roast pork that melt in your mouth. Needless to say there was no leftovers.

Who's These Fellows ! What The Fark ! Ouch it hurts !

In Summary

Being the first time KH4 is running here, everyone arrived at the run site without any complaints. The GPS co ordination and well described details in the newsletter surely helped, not forgetting the well placed hash signs. We parked our cars at some abandoned shophouses and the surrounding residential areas looked like a ghost town with hardly any residents.

When Kernel arrived at about 5:30pm he was queried by a few, " Why you didn't go in and set the run." "Intelligently" he replied, "I'm not the hare!", which was of course his better half, Cockpit. 

At about 5:45pm, the consultant co hares came out and most of us were inquisitively observing their attires for any signs of 'kau kau' run. Baby Chameleon (BC) was the targeted person and many were anxious to probe her for details about the run. Her soiled shoes was a subject of inquiry and she was quick to reply that if you have 'ostrich' legs like Prince Charming (PC) (not the exact words, but something to that effect) then it shouldn't be a problem but otherwise ...... ? We'll soon discover during the run.

GM was still on his extended vacation and JM, not on one of his somnambulism moments, was punctual in calling On! On! at 18:00. Terrain wise, it was reminiscent of days of hashing in the 80's, rubber estates and oil palm, a runner's terrain, no major climb and no detestable soggy trail.

The  4 checks were well laid and it managed to hold the pack together, with the last one at the pond area causing a slight delay as the 2 FROPs, Lucky Cock & Ubat and the 2nd group comprising of Laurel, Sir F.Low & Guest Ah Bee, being too far apart to hear them shout On On, thus making us do an unnecessary time wasting back check. 

Surprisingly in the midst of the rubber estate we can across a shiggy, a puddle of water with a 3 foot floating log which some may have tried to balance themselves crossing it but ended up ankle length soaked in their shoes, thus the mystery of BC soiled shoes solved ! Juicy claimed that she was able to skimmed through without getting wet. Fat chance ! Unless she piggy ride on somebody or she has found a Super Hero in KH4 that we are not aware of. 

1st runner in at about 7:20pm and the last at 7:55pm. Total distance covered was 7.5 km. JM have the stage to himself due to the absence of GM and the 2 RA's and have to be at his witty and oratory best to keep the crowd from turning boisterous. 

To welcome back Music Ranger after a two weeks absence on the recent brouhaha, JM asked him to take the box as the stand in RA in which he delivered his responsibilities with panache, by putting those chatterboxes on ice, almost getting an ovation from the floor.

My 2 Cts Worth

This area have all the ingredients of a good run site. Ample parking space. Away from prying public eyes. Good running terrain of rubber trees and oil palm. Easy assessibility via the highways. But conspicuously missing were existence of hash papers which will clearly indicate that this location is not a favorite amongst the hashing fraternity. Wonder why ? 

Credit to the hare other half, Kernel for living up to his hashing endeavors, ie to continuously discover and find new run sites for Klang Hash. Those of you who have ran long enough would surely recalled Kernel many discoveries, which he did while he was in his noble profession, chah fay kay. (Not tah fay kay aahh !!!). 

Being airborne and few thousands feet above sea level, it offered him a panoramic view below and he is able to spot a good run site miles away. Not only that, he does an airborne recce too ! He has since retired and but that has not diminished his endeavors. 

Back to today's run, due to his medical conditions this run was "sub-contracted" out. His maxim has always being, "Minimum 3 recces" which the consultant co hares didn't do.

Chances of getting lost in a rubber or oil palm estates are rare. If you have a good sense of direction or use a compass, setting a run in this area would not be a problem. The way the trail was laid indicated that this to be so. As PC was quick to confess, taking into consideration the distance covered, under another circumstances today's run would have been screwed !

Monday, November 11, 2013

Why Is Beer Better Than A .......... !!!

Why Is Beer Better Than A Woman 

1) Beer is always wet.
2) A beer doesn't care when you come.
3) Beer never gets a headache.
4) Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.
5) You can share a beer with your friends.
6) You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
7) You can enjoy beer every day of the month.
8) Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.
9) Beer never have relatives that stop by and stays for weeks.
10) You can have more than one  beer and not feel guilty.
11) Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
12) Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.
13) Beer is never late.
14) You can enjoy beer all night long.
15) If you change beer you don't have to pay alimony.
16) A beer is always satisfying.
17) A beer won't tell you it's pregnant for fun.
18) Beer doesn't complain when you are farting.
19) Beer doesn't care how much you earn.
20) Beer never cries or get jealous.
21) Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.
22) Beer doesn't demand equality.
23) You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.
24) Beer never threaten to go to a lawyer.
25) When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.

To even things out here's ........

Why Is Beer Better Than A Man

1) Beer makes you feel better who you have a period.
2) Your beer will wait patiently in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.
3) Your beer never suffer performance anxiety.
4) A beer doesn't snore.
5) Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.
6) I never met a beer with a criminal record.
7) You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mother and she won't mind.
8) Beer never has a bad temper.
9) You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.
10) You can talk to your girlfriends about beer without getting pissed off.
11) You don't have to fake a beer. Beer has no ego.
12) A beer isn't ready until you are ready.
13) A beer will never make fun of your new outfit.
14) A beer doesn't hate your cat.
15) You can get six at once without taxing yourself.
16) A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.
17) A beer last longer than seven seconds.
18) A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
19) Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
20) A good beer is easy to find.
21) Beer goes where you want it to.
22) No woman ever got stood up by a beer.
23) You don't need a restraining order with a bad beer.
24) A beer won't expect you to cook dinner if you are not ready.
25) A beer won't mind if you are not in a mood for beer.

CHEERS EVERYONE.






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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Run @ Greenhill, Punchak Alam (1/11/13). Hare: Silent Gorilla









Silent, Prince Charming et al. Parcel? A busy body who wants his picture taken.

All raised please! We gonna sing the National Anthem. Oops, sorry. Slip of the tongue, not the fault of the mind. I meant to say, " Here's direction to Cockpit's run next week." 

That's how you spell her hash name, just in case you don't know. How I know ? Cos I'm the one who baptized her, in comparison to Jennifer Lopez the Hollywood actress, maybe not totally but surely sexily in one way or another.

JM shying away for fear of getting caught in the act together with Parcel

 See story below.

 1st Friday of the Month is Sarong Day in KH4. These were the non compliant group. Cartoon being the youngest and having the juiciest ass volunteered to sit on ice.

Q: Who's the most good looking guy? A: Second from right. That'll be ....ME ! Those who guess correct pls collect your beer from me on 22/11.

In Summary
Wow! This run site seems to be a favorite of late and also the flavor of the month as we'll be running here again on the 29th. Probably hashers taking opportunity of this area before it's occupied and out of bound by then. 

JM was deep in thoughts before he was reminded by scribe it's time to start off the run at 6pm. Having run here twice it's rather predictable where the in and out trail will start and end. 

In queue, everyone followed the lead pack led by Sir Farter Low. The 1st check was just after the abandoned Indon settlement, which was easily broken. It swerved right and going downward. From the stretch on, it was a new trail, mainly virgin but not dense jungle and as we moved along the peripheral sound of vehicles could heard on the right. 

We seem to be go in and in and then came across the 2nd and final check. As Laurel duly said, "It has to go up", which it did. A massive gradual climb and when daylight was spotted at the horizon we made another detour downwards. Sensing a long run, JM plus a few short cutted at this point.

As we plotted along, the rain came, making the trail slippery at certain stretch. (  Another dirty laundry to clean up for the weekend. Fcuk !!). All said, we were to make another descend and climbed another peak till we hit the lights at the construction area and saw a group of about 10 members, who somehow managed to avoid the second hill, for a good 15 mins walk back.

1st runner back at about 7:20pm and the last group 'mercifully' rescued and coming out at 11:20pm !!! Total distance covered 4.05km. New members Oily Larry and Alex were separated from the pack and somehow managed to find the way home, via the Punchak Alam road. They couldn't find papers and were smart enough to look for lights and sound of vehicle, coming out at about 8:30pm.

The lost pack of 7 members communicated via mobile to state their position but somehow shit, sorry chief co hare, Prince Charming (PC) was as cunt-fused as them on their location to advise further.

When circle was over and members well satiated, a search party was organized. Leadership by example, JM led the pack together with PC and Ubat and managed to rendezvous with the lost group and brought them out at the said time. Hare was smiling gleefully and passing out 100+ upon seeing them coming out at the in trail. 

My 2Cts Worth
Enough have been said and written on how a run should be set and so forth and  I shall not sound like a broken record, least someone will said, " Eh, you smart alec, why don't you do your share of the 'dirty job' and co hared a run ".

While a hare is never driven by schadenfreude when members get lost in the jungle due to his over zealousness in wanting to set a good run, common sense and a level of consideration must be in order as we never know what may prevail in the jungle as history in KH4 have shown, though not many but one bad episode is good enough to piss you off for a lifetime.

For those with short memories and newly joined members, those who have witnessed and experienced those torrid situations would be most please to share their experiences ...... again ! No beer required

P/S: Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. Just go to the column below and bang your 2cts / $2 worth. It may earn you a beer or two. On! On!











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Sunday, November 3, 2013

10 Ways to Simplify Your Life and Reduce Stress

Stress. No matter what you do, no matter how you do it, and no matter how positive an attitude in life you have, you’ll still encounter stressors that will make your day a tad bit more difficult. Though stress is inevitable, it does not mean that you are helpless in its face. You have the power to take away some of the stressors and reduce the impact of ones that you cannot avoid.
Simplifying your life will make you less prone to stress, because often time more does not simply mean more, but more equals to more stress. So while a simpler life might not sound too enticing, you’ll find that it will actually improve the quality of your life a lot.
Here are some ways you can simplify your life and reduce the stress you feel every day:
1. De-clutter – The space you live in is a reflection of your inner self, so the clutter around you reflects how much peace you are. While de-cluttering won’t automatically give you peace of mind, you’ll significantly help yourself by making your environment less stressful it you keep in nice and tidy. De-cluttering your bedroom, bathroom, workplace, and even your bag might not seem much but it will make your life easier as you don’t have to keep on scrambling around for lost keys and have a clean inviting bed to lie down on at the end of a stressful day.
2. Buy less – You’ll have a hard time keeping your place tidy if you keep on buying and hoarding stuff. So stop buying things, unless you absolutely need them. You’ll be surprised at how much throttling down on your shopping will do for you, as it helps you develop to be a more responsible person not only in your spending habits but also your shopping choices. Less purchases means less stuff and clutter, more savings and sense of accomplishment, and more important, less stress in life.
3. Reduce dependencies - It isn’t just stuff you need to cut back on to simplify you life. Instead you need to cut back on all kind of dependencies to make your life more efficient and less stressful. This may come in the form of friends without whom you can’t go out to have some fun or in the form of gadgets, which people are increasingly getting overly dependent on. By reducing your dependencies, you give yourself the freedom to continue with your day with or without the people and things you’ve grown used to having with you. It does not mean cutting them off your life, but only your sense of dependence so that there’s less potential for stress whenever they’re not there for you.
4. Unplug regularly - As mentioned above, people are getting increasingly dependent on gadgets. To stop this as well as the intrusion that gadgets often bring (e.g. ringing phone when you’re meditating or trying to sleep), unplug your gadgets regularly. It may be every day at the end of the day or just once a month. The point is to unplug so that you can completely focus your attention on other important things in your life, be it meditating or spending time with your family.
5. Stop comparing – Comparing yourself and what you’ve got with what other people have is a surefire way to get stressed. No matter how good your life is and how much success you achieve, you’ll always find yourself lacking if you compare yourself with others. So stop looking over your shoulder and learn to appreciate yourself and what you have.
6. Take time to enjoy the simple things – Instead of comparing, you need to take time to enjoy the simple things in life. This will ensure that whatever situation you are in, you’ll be able to find something to smile about and somehow alleviate the stress you feel. It can be something as simple as the nice weather, the smile on your baby’s face, or the smell of sizzling bacon on the pan.
7. Talk to a toddler – Over thinking things is a problem common to many. I know it sure is a problem with me. So sometimes, just to help me get a mindset reset, I talk to my wonderful toddler. Their answers and stories might not seem sensible many times, but if you just really listen they will remind you of what’s really important in life – the simple things that makes kids so joyous and carefree.
8. Reassess your priorities and goals – Your priorities and goals will determine the areas in your life you can cut back on and which ones you need to put more effort in. It will be hard to have a satisfying simplified life if you end up cutting back on things that are the most important to you. So figure this out before you go to tips 9 and 10.
9. Say NO more often - If you’ve been blaming your job, your family, and all your other responsibilities for the super hectic life you’ve been leading, then here’s a wake up call for you… You really are the one to blame! If you want to live a simpler life, a life that has a slower pace and is more restful, then all you really need to do is to learn to say NO. This means saying no to peers, people you love, enticing opportunities, and more important, to yourself. You have to say NO to things that are not at the top of your priority list so that you can say yes to the things that are more important to you. It might be stressful to do this if you’re not used to it, but it’ll get easier in time and will be the best stress-buster of all.
10. Learn to delegate – Saying NO does not mean completely turning your back on responsibilities and new opportunities. Instead, you can simplify your life and free up your time by learning to delegate. This may mean hiring a new assistant at work or teaching your kids to load the dishwasher. By delegating responsibilities and tasks to capable and trustworthy individuals, you can still get things done without having to do everything yourself and without having to worry that things are not getting done the right way.
Article credit : TheDailyMind.Com







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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Run @ Tmn Tun (25/10/13). Hare: Blow Job

Having his oxygen (ciggi) break before the run starts.

It was murmured in the wind, "God created Loud Chick to teach all the hash ladies how to tittup." Yah, go ahead and google the word!

Hello. My name is June but my friends call me Ah Lian. I want you all to be my friend, so call me Ah Lian aahh. Can or not ! 
Or better known as Uncle Seah. Having a sojourn in Langkawi. In his younger days, he was the SCB (short cutting bastard) king in KH4. Still is whenever the occasion arises.
His ladies guest was the cause of umbrage to Music Ranger at last week run. Hope sitting on ice will improve his hashing sense.
 Getting his Deepavali bonus from GM.
 The coroner. Oops, sorry. I meant crooner ..... of hash songs. When he sings, it will be "music" to your ears, depending on your alcohol level.


In Summary
An overcast sky with rain clouds looming but that didn't deter a good crowd waiting patiently for the GM to sound the On On call at 6pm. As usual, starting trail was short walk up on the tarmac and then turned left and the expected 1st check a short distance away.

Meandering through the usual path we then arrived at the bungalow houses, the Penchala link area for a check. Those familiar with the area, would have expected the paper to go up. Indeed it was. A short climb, the papers deviated left and probably have some thinking of a reprieve. It was not to be. We had a Mother of all Climb, a 1km stretch as Ubat was quick to emphasize.

What followed next was pretty routine in this area, a couple of ups and downs, crisis crossing the fence area and a good runout for the runners. When we were going up the fencing area again, Laurel was in his WTF ( what the fark ) rant and scribe was about to contribute my share when surprisingly we hit the tarmac road and provide a relief to yours truly, as we know home beckoned.  (Thus my WTF rant shall be reserve for another occasion.)

Almost a 2km run on the road to the car park with the front pack in at about 7:15pm. Battery Rosak & Sir Iron Head were ladies men as they were considerate enough to accompany their ladies guest out at about 8:30pm. Distance covered was approx 6.8 km.

Circle time was the usual boisterous affair. GM was giving some reminder about some redundant hash commandments with Iron Head being the main culprit and JM storming into one of his verbiages. There were probably some twisted interpretations and members having short memories, whether it's alcohol induced or not, will continue to repeat these peccadillos. 

Let common sense prevailed unless one is prepared to say, "enough is enough it's cibai say bye bye" time. (My apologies for the strong word but I'm trying to get the message across).

My 2Cts Worth
With Hardcore, the sifu of this area, as one of the co hare, any lingering fear of a long run was diminished. He has mellowed and left his Animale days behind .... hopefully. Taman Tun is one of the few "civilized " spot in the Klang Valley and any notion of jungle bashing, treacherous terrains, leeches or getting lost are very unlikely. 

All said, a decent clean run, good workout followed by the usual blah blah stuff, nothing dramatic and an evening well spent and no dirty laundries for the missus to clean up and for those who have maids, you have put a smile on their faces.





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Sunday, October 27, 2013

10 Reasons Sex Makes You Beautiful

Do you find yourself spending lots of money on beauty treatments? Although eating well, exercising and feeling good are great ways to boost your beauty quotient, I have another solution for you. 

It’s free. 

It’s fun. 

It’s natural. 

It’s orgasms. 

Sex is the consummate beauty enhancer. It puts all other products and procedures to shame. Here are 10 reasons to incorporate orgasms into your beauty routine: 

1. Sex makes you glow. 
Your hair gets shinier and your skin becomes luminous. Estrogen, which contributes to healthier hair and skin, increases production in women who have frequent sex. You’ll also produce more collagen, which keeps skin supple and firm. 

2. Youth is beauty and beauty is youth. 
Frequent sex makes you look younger. While I’d argue that youth itself isn’t necessarily the heart of beauty, I’d say that “youth-full-ness” is. People who have sex three or more times a week look tend to look younger. 

3. Orgasms are the ultimate antidepressant. 
You release serotonin and DHEA at climax. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that regulates your mood and makes you feel content, happy and hopeful. DHEA has antidepressant effects and boosts immunity. Sex helps you to look and feel radiantly beautiful. 

4. Orgasms and sexual activity release pheromones. 
Pheromones make you more attractive to the opposite sex. The more sex you have, the more sex people want to have with you. Wear orgasms instead of perfume.

5. It's natural breast enhancement. 
Breasts swell up to 25% during sex, according to Dr. Michael Roizen, Dr. Oz’s pal. Nipple height increases one half inch. Have a big night out and are in need of a push-up bra? Spend another 20 minutes “getting ready” with your partner and then hit the town. Considering other methods of growth? Spend more time in bed instead.

6. Sex reduces stress. 
A huge dose of oxytocin is released at the point of orgasm. Oxytocin wipes out cortisol, the major stress hormone. Most of us in urban life exist with high cortisol. Plenty of sex will unfurl your brow and leave you in a state of bliss. 

7. Orgasms flatten your belly. 
Having increased cortisol in your system contributes to that “paunch” around your belly. Again, our friend oxytocin lowers cortisol. Those last 5-10 pounds you can’t seem to lose around your belly? Orgasm them away.  

8. You’ll become a better person. 
All the feel-good chemicals released in the ascent to orgasm, at orgasm and in afterglow, elevate you. Dopamine increases your drive and ambition. Oxytocin makes you more relaxed, kind, patient and loving. Testosterone will make you perform better at work. Endorphins will reduce your stress and leave you feeling elated. What better all around panacea is there than an orgasm? 

9. Sex improves overall well-being. 
Sex isn't just good for the belly, it's good for your whole body. Your heart rate and blood pressure double, and a vigorous sex session can be the equivalent calorie burn of a strong power yoga class. Plus, orgasms induce the production of phenylethylamine. This brilliant compound increases happiness, confidence, focus AND curbs appetite. 

10. It will ignite your confidence. 
People who know what they want are attractive. Studies have shown that sex and meditation light up similar areas in the brain. The same benefits you’d expect to receive with meditation also come along with great sex: you feel in tune with yourself and the world around you, your inner guidance is strengthened, you feel calmer, more creative and able to tackle problems with a clear head. 

All through an orgasm. 

An orgasm a day, or at least several a week, not only can have miraculous health benefits, but it will also leave you smokin’ hot. 

This article was published in MindBodyGreen and was written by Kim Anami.






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