CAN OR NOT !!!

Some if not all of you would have noticed the refreshing look of the latest newsletter and the compliments made to the new On Sec, Baby Chameleon. Let's hope it's not the case of new broom sweep clean and we look forward to more of these.

This blog shall reserved it's comment for the time being but I'm sure the On Sec have got ideas of her own and let's hope the forth coming ones will be more interesting and something that we look forward to instead of being mere pieces of article that one read and discard immediately or look uninteresting to flip beyond the first page after seeing the Hare Q page.

But I would like to say my piece on 2 subjects.

Firstly, attendance book. This is not the first time that it's being enforced and I'm willing to bet (any takers?) that it won't be the last. Unless I'm proven wrong, every time a new committee has been formed this 'brilliant' idea will be mooted. This have been going on the last couple of years!

Members will be dutifully signing in and out the attendance book for the first couple of weeks. After that amnesia steps in and one of the committee will be tasked to do the job. All will be hunky dory and the circle will start again and no amount of sitting on ice or punishment meted out will remedy this problem.

As you read this, some of you will be thinking, wah this Slow Ass, only know how to write and talk cock. You so clever you go and do lah! Hold your horses, mate !!!

While I don't have the perfect solution, this is my 2 cents. EDUCATE! EDUCATE! EDUCATE! Human nature being such, we are creatures of habit and on the flip side, we also tend to take the easy way out if there are no rewards at hand, so why should I sign in and out, if there are no threatening issues at stake.

Back to the "E" word again, for a start, ensure that members know where to sign in/out every week. You may get 50% of members to do it initially, but doesn't matter. Ensured that those who do remind those who haven't. It may take 3 weeks, 3 months or for that matter 3 years, but once these routine have been ingrained into our grey matter, it become a habit and no one need to be told on what to do next! Voila! Problem solved! 

Right? Wrong? Anyone care to give their 5 cents or dollar worth? 

No one should be tasked to take down the attendance at all and we should continue to EDUCATE instead of delegate. If at the end, these simple tasks cannot be instilled into the members head, we surely are on the way to suffering from mental retardation, for want of a better word and no apologies for sounding so crude. 

To live up to my 2 cents, if yours truly forget to sign the attendance sheet for 3 consecutive weeks, please enroll me into a mental institution, where I heard you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave and serve me recycle beer, where an unpublished study on homo sapiens species has shown that constant consumption of this liquid will help the brain cells to regenerate. Fellow members are most welcome to join me should they feel to need to so the same.

The next piece, Sweeper. 

Again this is not the first time the idea was suggested. Previously this issue died a natural death due to only one cause ...... implementation or shall I say, non implementation and compliance.  While we don't deny the fact that the idea is good, asking the hare to be the sweeper for the next run or requiring the hare to delegate the task is easier said than done. 

If signing the attendance is a chore, can you imagine getting one to be the sweeper! The odds of striking a lottery is anytime higher compare to this. So what's next ? Before I offer my 2 cents, oh no not again, I can hear the riposte. (At least I'm contributing, are you? )

The irony is that you can't insist or demand that this be done. If one choose not to be the sweeper what can the club do? And we know that there are many recalcitrants around! Sack or suspend him? That will be the day! Sit on ice or cold shower? No big deal, compare to being the sweeper. Deny him his golden fluid? Be ready for a verbal confrontation and if cool heads does not prevail, probably fist fights! 

Think for a moment! Why do people get lost in the jungle? Because they don't follow papers! Or they try to short cut and lost their sense of direction! Or coming in late and doing catch up, knowing very well that you may not be able to! Will the sweeper solve these problems? It's a no brainer, right!

If you are hashing long enough, common sense will tell you that if you are amongst the back runner you should stick together, which most if not all the regular LROP's (last runner on paper) in KH4 does anyway. Currently, the 'unofficial sweepers' Battery Rosak and Gold Kuntz and on certain occasions there maybe others, are doing an excellent job. By appointing a sweeper they maybe duplication of tasks and another problem may arise.

Instead of creating a problem, why don't we give recognition or reward those who are already doing the job. Surely it won't burden the club financially if we reward these 'unofficial' sweeper(s) a beer or two after a run for their unselfish acts. It feel good to be appreciated, I'm sure you'll agree with me. 

Having said my piece, members probably have other ideas or suggestions. Throw the questions to them and for all we know we'll be surprise at what they have to offer..

People getting lost in the jungle are mostly through acts of their own making. As we know, the papers are there for a reason and if hashers choose to deviate from the trail, no amount of 'sweeping' can solve this problem. 

 

Last but not least..... hashed smart, don't be a hero, keep a look out for your fellow hashers, you may never know when a favor will be return. We come to the hash to enjoy ourselves and not to create inconveniences or burden others. 

Run @ Aman Puri, Kepong (4/4/14)

Hare/Co Hares: Prince Charming. Assisted by Left Ball, Messy & Early Bird.

Weather wise / Attendance: Cool evening with about 40 ++members.         

Joint Run ???: Those who arrived early would have noticed a big crowd and some unfamiliar faces. Apparently another chapter, Friday Hash House Harriers was also sharing the same runsite as us. There were a number of SYT (sweet young thing) and hot chicks amongst them. Cartoon and Laurel were salivating and probably hoping to get them into their wish list.

Beer man woes!: Everyone were surprised to see the presence of our ex beer man Ravi, as it was reliably heard that he was axed from serving us as his company could not fulfilled their beer quotas. He did us a favor today as the current one from Klang was reluctant to come due to the distance. GM, Messy announced on the box during circle that we may switch back to long cool dane, Carlsberg.

For those not in the know, that was the original beer of Klang Hash for maybe 2 decades and well served by their beer men until one smart alec decide to switch to GAB Tiger and we have been having this occasional problems of the beer men services since. 

The Run: As being scribed many times by yours truly, the notoriety of the hare knows no bound. Today's run was no exception. As was told by Yak to yours truly, he being one of the FROP's (front runner on paper), caught up with the hare at certain stretch and not only that, yours truly also met up with the 2 co hares, Left Ball and Messy while climbing up a hill. I stopped to check on some papers that were veering left but was told by them and the others behind me to proceed upwards instead.

When the hare was questioned by Kernel during circle whether he recced, he gave a big yawning "NO". With that Kernel rest his case.

Back to the run proper, those who completed the run would have noted the hare's notoriety at play, one moment here, the next there and if he fancy a uphill, up he goes and goes and goes.....! During the home stretch, we have to go down a steep incline in pitch darkness with protruding pipeline and slippery steps and thereafter an endless home run of 3km+ as attested by one of the runner. Last runner out at almost 8:45pm

While some were smart enough to detour or short cut thereby missing all the 'fun', Toy Boy expression of the run told a truer picture. He sat slumped on the bench, water one one hand and staring into the night. When scribe tried to engaged him in a conversation, he'll hardly murmured a few words. But the happiest person had to be Rooster cos she was the last one on paper and if she had not being advised to turn back she would have come out after 9pm with some wadderfark remarks!

Circle: Newly elected Joint Master is still having stage fright, judging from the way he spoke on the box. Mild mannered, few words, not the Bomba Mike that we all know. GM promised to give him a crash course in public speaking so that he can be more garrulous the next time he goes on the box.

Freshly mint and a SYT herself, Baby Chameleon was doing a commercial for her company, pharmaceutical giant GSK, Glaxo Smith & Kline. The wrong protocol was followed and was advised by the floor to go through the committee first.

The Final Word ..... : A leopard can never change it's spot, can he? So we'll try not to tame the hare for fear of what he may metaphor into ! We'll leave him at his instincts best .... or worst ! So come prepare for what he may throw at us when he hare or co hare a run. Regardless, I'm sure he has the best  interest of us at heart.

The Race Is Over !

Congratulations to Messy and the newly elected committee for 2014/15. Members have spoken and decided that they are the ones who are going to chart the course of KH4 for the next 12 months or so.

My sincere thanks to the cast and crew of THE TEAM for coming in, despite some unfavorable comments and feedbacks. To quote, " It's better to have fought and lost then to have never fought at all." Thanks for keeping the faith. 

Now the dust has all been settled, let's continued to enjoy our weekly runs. But .......  don't forget to contribute where necessary, criticized when there are relevant points to raise without any fear, question the committee when you are in doubt about matters of the club.

Do we have nefarious intentions by doing so? Are we being pugnacious? If one can't see the woods for the tree, it boiled down to the noble intention, "WE LOVE KLANG HASH !"

As for yours truly, this blog will continue to say/contribute/write/criticize and what not it's 2 Cts or $2 worth! Readers of this blog would be by now familiar on the my way I scribe. I may sound mordant at times and caused certain vexations to those who happened to the pun of my article but I can assure you that there were never ever any malice intended. 

On! On!

The Race Is On !

When the list of nominated candidates for the coming AGM were announced by the GM on the box last week there were some oohs and aahs, but generally not many surprises for those who can read between the lines.

But something unprecedented was in the making. Never in the history of KH4 AGM have all the posts being contested, with the exception of the Inter On Sec. Is it good? Definitely! It showed democracy at work and the vibrancy of members willing to challenge the norm. 

Another 1st was giving the floor to the contesting GM, ie yours truly and Messy to say our 2cts or $2 worth. Let's hope that these are not one off affair but regular practices in the AGM's to come.

Another positive outlook of this AGM is that there are members, old as well as new ones who are willing to serve. All was needed were some enticing, encouragement and a sense of purpose. To quote, "Ask not what the club can do for you but what you can do for the club."

There were some nibbling in yours truly ears on certain concerns and doubts with the names but all I can say is if you believe in me, just keep the faith. Look at things on a bigger picture and not a parochial view. I've the best interest of all parties concern. While it is difficult to please everyone, the interest of club and getting the job done are the main priorities and we must not lose sight of that. Even have been written and said and there are nothing more to add.

The finishing line is in sight. Come this week, 28/3/14, members must decide on what they want and cast their votes. There maybe some surprises or maybe none at all. Like I mentioned before, at the end of the day, whoever are elected there must be only one winner, ie KLANG HASH and not any individual. All must close rank, be magnanimous and move on. 

After all, we joined hash for the purpose of enjoying good fellowship, having our weekly doses of golden fluid, a good sweat out, an opportunity to escape from the noises of our spouses (for the lucky ones) and not to have any animosities, blank faces and WTF's looks staring back at one another. 

The Team - Cast & Crew

With the nomination papers submitted to the On Sec last week, the cat is out of the bag, if it isn't out already. There will be some wriggle tongues, opinions being formed and maybe a conspiracy theory being propagandized. For what it's worth, let hope it's mostly good and people being people, could be some of the bad but let there be none of the ugly's, which I'm optimistic there won't.

I hope that a vote for me will also be a vote for THE TEAM. Eventually whoever gets voted in must close rank and move on. Ultimately, there must be only one winner which is Klang Hash and not any individual.

The Cast & Crew of THE TEAM :

GM: Yours truly, Slow Ass. (You be the judge. Was running in KH4 in my 30's. Still growing strong in my mid 50's. Hope to be still hashing into my 70's).

JM: Pubic Hair. (Stimulated in thoughts. Ready to put them into actions).

On Sec: Song Bird. (Her adorable self. No intro required).

Asst On Sec: Rooster. (Another adorable with a ready smile, but not to be mess around).

On Cash: Early Bird. (KH4 SYT, sweet young thing. Everybody favorite gal, ah.... almost everybody).

Asst On Cash: Bird Nest. (Ex SYT. Her glamorous days are over but is now ready to serve).

Committee Members: Left Ball, Yakiti Yak, SIr Iron Head. (The macho men of KH4. Ready to help the damsels, guys and gays in distress. Only need to ask).

The Pessimist View: Wah, this fella, can do the job or not? That fella, aiyah, put him or her inside the committee surely it's a puppet on a string! That shit stirrer, if in the committee, sure die one, the club! You know that one, the last time almost put the club in shit house ah! Want to vote for the fella again.

The Optimist View: Excellent. Good team. My vote goes to them. They have served the Club before with good distinctions and it's good they are making sacrifices to make a come back for the betterment of the Club. A good mix. 

The Neutral's: You voting for who ah? Tell me I also follow you. Everybody asking me to support this fella that fella. Aiyoh, very difficult lah! Who is in also never mind lah, as long as they don't screw up the Club.

While in an ideal world, it's my fervent wish that all the members of THE TEAM be elected but we don't live in an ideal world and at the end of the day it's the member who are going to decide. 

Nevertheless, come 28/3/14, it'll be a great pleasure if I can make this announcement. 

"Welcome aboard flight MH 370 (oops, typo error), correction, Flight KH4 2014/15, all crews and passengers. This is your captain, Slow Ass speaking. 

Thank you for coming aboard. This journey will take approximately 1 year. During this time we may encounter some stormy skies and a few turbulence but I can assure you that we'll not disappear from thin air and cause needless anxieties.

I can't assure that this flight will take you to the land of milk and honey. What I can ensure you is that we will do our best so that you'll have an pleasant journey with a few adventures along the way, if all passengers play their role. Should you need any assistance, the crew will be most please to entertain your request.

If my navigational skill are cause for concern, you are most welcome to give your input to ensure that we heading on the right course. From time to time, there'll updates on 'weather conditions', 'fuel consumption' and any info deem relevant. The success of this flight depends on the co-operation of everyone. 

Refreshments will be serve and do take your share. Should anyone misbehave during this flight, passengers must do their civil duty to keep the recalcitrant at bay and should the passenger show further opprobrium, we will discard him at mid air so the this flight is not jeopardize. 

Once again thank you very much for your kind attention, ladies and gentlemen. Please be seated. Cast and crew to your respective stations. We are ready for take off."

  

To be or not to be .....Answered !

To be or not to be ??? It's no more a question ! Answered ! It may sound surprise to some, was expected by a few and probably some WTF's ( wadderfacks !!!). Aaahhh ???

A calling has been made by members and for what is worth, I'm contesting for the GM post at the coming AGM. Before mortars and bricks are thrown at me or handshakes offered, this was not a overnight decision. I'm been mulling over this the past month or so and because I love KH4 more than myself personal sacrifices has to be make.

I may lose some friends because of this decision (hopefully it's only temporary, just likes politics) along the way but this will surely test what true friendship is all about. 

There is no personal hidden agenda. Neither do I have any axe to grind by contesting for this post. Just to borrow a phrase from Messy, " GM come, GM go, but Klang Hash shall remain." Unfortunately, there is only one position for the GM post and if there is a contest, someone will not be elected. Likewise for the other positions.

At the end of the day, all must close ranks once the AGM is over and move forward so that the eventual WINNER is KLANG HASH. If I may further add," No one is bigger than the Club."

If for some strange reasons you've the the silly notion to think that some smart alecs have influenced me to contest I can only say, "You are ignorant as ignorant can be! " 

A contest shows that we are a vibrant club and not a herd mentality. We practiced democracy and more importantly we offer member a choice. 

Last but not least, here are some quotes to ponder:

To lead people, walk behind them.

Lao Tzu

The real leader has no need to lead, he is content to point the way.

Henry Miller

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.

Theodore M. Hesburgh

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.

Lao Tzu

Together we are better.

John Paul Warren

Leadership does not depend on being right.

Ivan Illich

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

George Patton 

This is just the beginning ......... On! On!

To be or not to be .... that is the Question!

A $1,000,000 question? I'm not Bill Gates, so that's not likely to be the case.

A $10,000 question? If I'm a narcissistic I'm probably say yes but I believed I'm not so this does not apply.

A $1000 question? I'm being what I'm, that'll be the more appropriate value, but you people will be the judge.

A $100 question? For the time and effort it's definitely under value.

A $1 question? If majority perceive it to be so that I'm an asshole.

Watch this space!

10 Reasons Why You Should Join The Hash

1) "Life is like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what you gonna get." So is hashing. Every run will turn out differently even though we may be running in the same area repeatedly and you'll never know what you gonna get at the end of the day. An easy run! A fcuk up run! A bloody long, kau kau run! That's for starter. The real fun and fellowship begins later part of the evening during the 'circle'.

2) No qualification is required to be a member. The hashing fraternity does not recognize intellectual. You can be stupid as stupid does and no one gives a damn, whether you are a doctor, engineer, lawyer or janitor, as long as you abide by the rules of the club.

3) Hashing is not a race. There's no price for coming out first. Thus, you run, walk, hobble at your own pace, depending on your health condition and fitness level. Some common sense are require at times when you encounter some difficulties during the run.

4) It's easy to make friends in the hash. In hashing, we welcome you with open arms and not the other way around, unless you are an true anti social where your true dwelling should be in the cave.

5) Beer is our best friend and by drinking beer we shall be best of friends, even though there are some non drinkers in the hash. What enticed them to join the hash? Is it the girls, guys, gays, exercise, camaraderie etc etc ??? A little bit of everything, perhaps !

6) Hashing helps you to de-stress. If you are all stress up and no place to go, hashing is the antidote. Beside having your regular dose of exercise, you can speak freely any obnoxious languages conceivable, doing obscene acts, talk cock and bull stories, without having dumb blank faces staring at you. A small caveat though, do it in moderation. You never know someone maybe having a short fuse on the day and decided to explode. 

7) You don't pay exorbitant fee to be a member. Memberships varies from each chapter to chapter but only a small sum compared to what you are going to pay to join one of those gyms in town. An added bonus in hash is that you get to enjoy some of those 'freebies' mentioned above for free. 

8) Hashing is found in everyone corners of the world. Should you be traveling and miss the hash bug, you can always contact one of those local chapters and they will surely welcome you with open arms and if you are lucky, maybe with open legs too! ( Just joking! )

9) Just like politics, there are no permanent friends or enemies in the hash. Today we could be quarreling and the next we would be sitting down having a beer or two, as if nothing had happened. But playing politics is not encourage or condone in the hash. Anyone doing so will not only have dumb blank faces staring at you but also some smart alec's giving you the middle finger and a true asshole telling you to fcuk off !

10) Hashing is an inexpensive sport. At best you need to invest in a good pair of trail shoes for the serious runners, whereas the casual ones would need a pair of comfortable foot wear for jungle trekking. That would be your only investment. As for attire, there are no needs to buy all those expensive branded stuff. Over the years you would have accumulated tons of T-shirts which you are unlikely to finish wearing in a lifetime and not forgetting all the freebies and goodies that are occasionally given out at special 'runs' to commemorate an event.

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10 Hash Resolutions For 2014

2014 is just round the corner. Was 2013 an eventual year for you, hashing wise, in Klang Hash ? Did you contribute your share in making hashing more fun and meaningful whether your were a member for 2 months, 2 years or 20 years or did you expect KH4 could have done better for you instead?

Here are some resolutions for you to ponder for the coming year. While we may joined hash for our own personal reasons, let's not forget the core values of hashing. 

While these lists may not be exhaustive and it's neither wrong nor right, take a minute to reflect on it. Ultimately, no one is bigger than the club. Member come and member goes. If you have a piece, say it or forever keep your peace ! 

Here goes :

1) I shall pay up my subs when due so that I don't have to suffer the acrimony of being denied my beer quotas.

2) I shall call On On when I break a check and connect the papers so that the back and slow runners will not be left astray.

3) I shall behave and remain silent when circle in on and respect the Box so that the affairs of the evening can conducted with decorum.

4) I shall remember that in Klang Hash that there are only 2 rules. Rule #1. The GM is always right. Rule #2. If the GM is wrong, Rule #1 applies. If still in doubt, QUIT !

5) I shall keep in mind that in hashing, everything should be taken with a pinch of salt. Nothing nefarious is ever intended, whatever the situation or conversation maybe.

6) I must adopt the attitude of agreeing to disagree as life is too short to quarrel over trivia matters. 

7) I must ensure that my alcohol intake is not over my threshold limit so that no untoward incidence may occur as there are love ones waiting for us at home.

8) I must bear in mind when setting a run not too be over zealous by setting a long and tough run as not everyone are equally physically fit. If I want to prove my manhood I can always join a man/batang chapter.

9) I have to acknowledge that when I'm elected to a position in the club it comes with responsibilities and have the occasional 'shit' thrown at, but I pledged not to get personal but instead discharged my position without fear or favor.

10) I pledge that as a member I reserved the right to question the committee on the club affairs not because I'm being solipsistic but because I love the club more.

Do you have any of yours to contribute? Feel free to do so. Go to the comment column and say your piece!

Run @ Setia Eco Park (19/12/13). Hare: Recycle

 Starting trail

As from tonite I shall renounced my legal given name and shall be known as Toy Boy. This I said in the name of my Hash Temple, which is the Beer Wagon. This I said in the name of my Hash Religion, which is Klang Hash. This I said in the name of my Hash God, which is the Tiger Bottle. 

 Getting into the Christmas spirit.

In Summary

A cool evening due to a mid afternoon shower, greeted us as we gathered for today's run at Klang Hash adopted home ground, Setia Eco Park. For those who aren't aware of Klang Hash original 'home', it was then called Furukawa. Due to development there, the area is no more conducive to hashing.

Hare and his other half were greeting us at the runsite before the start off time and it was duly learned that the run was set in the morning and was assisted by what he claimed to be his co hare, ex member Tiger. JM somnambulism was noticeable as he was awaken by the shout of Kernel to flag off the run.

Across the open area we strolled, passed a stagnant pond and from there onwards it was trekking through new and virgin trails. Absence of any hash papers and trodden path bear testimony to this statement. The early downpour didn't make it treacherous but the terrain was made difficult due to the sogginess and unchartered territory.

Paper were not consistently laid at certain stretches and caused vexations to many of us. As darkness creeped in, even in groups and with torchlights on, we were groping in the dark. Time was wasted searching for the connecting papers. The fact that the trail was meandering and undulating made our task more difficult. Credit to those who were considerate enough to lay some new papers, as they were concern about the back runners.

1st runner out at about 7:40 pm and the last group at 9pm. Distance covered was almost 4km, as measured by my GPS but the hare claimed that his showed 5.6km. The discrepancies ? I got no idea ! When we were out some of us were sounding pugnacious and were quick to seek the hare to let him know that we took umbrage for his stinginess to lay enough papers, Battery Rosak being one of them as he was amongst the last to be out.

During circle a few announcements were made. One was that the club finance is in a healthy position. The other was the non payment of subs due. A few members were denied their beer quota because of this and while some took the liberty to pay up immediately so that they can enjoyed their beers, one recalcitrant didn't do so and stormed off after being denied his share. Let's hope cool heads prevailed and when he comes to his senses next week, he'll realized that the action by the club was justifiable.

My 2 Cts Worth

The current situation being such, it rains when it rains, the hare having set his run in the morning and having rained in the afternoon, should have prepared the FROP's and the others with sufficient papers, knowing for a fact the the earlier papers will be soiled and fresh ones need to be laid. No doubt, some were given but it was insufficient. His Eng Choon-ness shows ! In fact, he was smiling gleefully when confronted by some about his mishaps.

With regards to the non payment of sub and your quota of beer being denied, it's written in the constitution, thus a no brainer here! As Kernel vehemently decreed to scribe, a non payment or default of sub gives one no justification to argue. Any half past six lawyer can tell you, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse." Moral of the story : Want your beers? Pay your sub, otherwise keep your big f**king mouth shut !!! 

( Scribe have the misfortune to suffer the same fate two weeks ago but the situation was amicably sorted out with the On Cash, thus these words were harshly written to remind everyone, yours truly included, having a bout of somnambulism when it comes to paying your sub it's no f**king excuse !!! Once, acceptable. Twice, you are asking for shit ! Thrice ! ... better say FO and bye bye.)

The Many Faces of Klang Hash

This article is for reading pleasure only and it's not meant to insinuate or put anyone on a pedestal. Any resemblance to anyone, past or present, is merely coincidental.

Here goes :

The FROP's : Front runners on papers. What would a run turn out without them. Diligently breaking the checks and shouting On On and connecting papers. Only a handful of 5-6 members.

SCB's : Short cutting bastard! The 'King' is currently having a sojourn in Langkawi. The usual suspects who would take every opportunity to short cut during a run. Only a small number.

The Non-Finisher : Go in on the in trail and subsequently find their own route back before the rest. Their own version of exercise. Consist of mainly the geriatrics, lazy bones and any excusable reasons to go for a stroll only. Burning calories is not a priority. (Not to be confuse with the SCB's.)

The Kiasu Runner : Want to be the 1st runner out. Run off and shout On On with a whimper when breaking a check and considered job done, so that he can be in front of the rest. Glad to say there aren't any but the occasional bad habits do creep in when that person is on a testosterone high to show off his machoism.

Private Partiers : Having their own private party when circle is in session, oblivious to the constant reminders from the box to remain silent. Their ignorance knows no bound. Capital punishment should be enforced as a deterrent. As the hash song goes, " They odd to be public be pissed on. They odd to be public be shot. They odd to be nailed to the shit house and let there to fester and rot. " This is a perpetual thing every week. At times there maybe numerous private parties going on. (Who is brave enough to stop the rot !!!)

The Silent Ones : Exact opposite of the above. Sitting comfortably in their stools, they hardly uttered a sound when circle is on. Probably only an earthquake will shake them off their comfort zone. A minority group. 

Non English Speaking Members : Quite a fair bit here. How they managed to stay in tune and attentive when circle is on is something scribe cannot comprehend as our lingua franca is English.

Non Beer Drinkers : Again, something scribe cannot comprehend. Beer is synonymous with hashing. Why would a non drinker want to join the hash if he or she doesn't enjoy the taste of the golden fluid ? Exercise ? Well, there are many ways of doing it. Hot chicks & sugar daddy ? It happened ! Anyway, we're glad they came along as they contribute to the club coffers.

Music Makers : With their guitars, flute and bongo Klang Hash orchestra is in session, usually after the circle. A small knitted group. 

Hash Choir : To complement the above, usually led by the Grand Daddy of them all, as his repertoire of hash songs cannot be matched by anyone in KH4. This sing along session, unfortunately, drew the interest of only a small crowd.

KGB : A spy in KH4 ? Actually, it denote Klang Garbage Bin. Given to an ex member who is able to devour all that it placed on the dinner table, plus a few additional bowls of rice. With him around, there can be no leftovers and if you are not quick enough when dishes are served, he'll hungrily gobbled up before you could even smell the aroma. Mind you, he's not an obese person !

Don't Fuck Around With Me ! : Only one person can said it with conviction and meant what he said. The rest are impersonators.

Hash Bards : They may sound like a broken records but the songs are still music to our ears. Occasionally, they come out with a gem.

I AM GM : Some aspirants out there. Stand up and be counted. Don't hide behind a mask.

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Run @ Greenhill, Punchak Alam (29/11/13). Hare: Loud Cock

Newspaper on his left, clock on his right. Trying to sound intelligent or looking silly !

That's what hashing will do to you when you only drink but not run !

The lady co hares were too shy to show themselves.

Laurel would gladly open his arms and ..... legs !

In Summary

Those driving to the run site at about 5:30pm would have experienced the heavy downpour hitting down relentlessly but just as the run was about to start at 6pm, miraculously it suddenly stopped. The hare must have been one relief person.

Rather predictably, we went in the usual starting trail. As promised by the JM during circle last week, we went through a different path. After the 1st check, we could see the new housing area on the left and many would have thought that home beckoned. 

But the hare took us for a steep gradual long ascend and then down into a valley to be followed by another climb, though not as tough as the first one. Once we hit level ground and saw the open area, familiarity would have sensed that it's home. 

1st runner in just under an hour and the last at 7:40 pm, being KH4 newest couple, doing a 'pakthology' in the jungle, taking their sweet time to come out. Though the trail was make soggy by the rain, scribe noticed the absence of muddied bumps. Probably everyone are wiser now and come prepared and experiencing running here has been a good teacher.

RA long absence resulted in him launching into his verbiages to making up for lost time, though it was not falderal in nature. In fact, he managed to tickle a few funny bones.

JM as well as being the co hare, was also the chef and he managed to whip up an appetizing dinner which was not the usual menu from the regular caterers. The meal prepared straight from the stove was well received.

Commercialism have creeped into this area as can be seen from the on going renovations in some of the shop lots. Another hashing terrain will be out of bound soon. 

My 2 Cts Worth

The last run here being a disaster, (the last group out at 11:30pm), today's run could be classified as 'pussy' but yours truly shall not have an hidden agenda and thus credit shall be given to hare and his co hare for having the common sense to set a sensible run. 

We'll be running here again this Friday and the run have been contracted to Prince Charming (PC). We know what happened when he co hared the last run here and PC being PC, we can only hope for the best and expect the worst ! Any thing better than his last will be a bonus.

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Analysis Of The "F" Word

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “fuck”. It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary fucked John) and intransitive (John was fucked by Mary). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, fuck, he's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word “fuck.” 

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1) Surprise -- “What the fuck are you doing here?” 
2) Fraud -- “I got fucked by the car dealer.” 
3) Resignation -- “Oh, fuck it!” 
4) Trouble -- “I guess I'm fucked now.” 
5) Aggression -- “FUCK YOU!” 
6) Disgust -- “Fuck me.” 
7) Confusion -- “What the fuck...?” 
8) Difficulty -- “I don't understand this fucking business!” 
9) Despair -- “Fucked again....” 
10) Pleasure -- “I fucking couldn't be happier.” 
11) Displeasure -- “What the fuck is going on here?” 
12) Lost -- “Where the fuck are we?” 
13) Disbelief -- “UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!” 
14) Retaliation -- “Up your fucking ass!” 
15) Denial -- “I didn't fucking do it.” 
16) Perplexity -- “I know fuck-all about it.” 
17) Apathy -- “Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?” 
18) Greetings -- “How the fuck are ya?” 
19) Suspicion -- “Who the fuck are you?” 
20) Panic -- “Let's get the fuck out of here.” 
21) Directions -- “Fuck off.” 
22) Awe -- “How the fuck did you do that?” 

It can be used in an anatomical description -- “He's a fucking asshole.” It can be used to tell time -- “It's five fucking thirty.” It can be used in business -- “How did I wind up with this fucking job?” It can be maternal -- “Motherfucker.” It can be political -- “Fuck Clinton!” 

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history: 
“What the fuck was that?” -- Mayor of Hiroshima 
“Where did all these fucking Indians come from?” -- General Custer 
“That's not a real fucking gun, is it?” -- John Lennon
“Who's gonna fucking find out?” -- Richard Nixon 
“Why the fuck did that apple hit me?” -- Issac Newton 
“Heads are going to fucking roll.” -- Marie Antoinette 
“I could have used a fucking map.” -- Ulysses 
“Where the fuck is all this water coming from?” -- Captain of the Titanic 
“Any fucking idiot could understand that.” -- Albert Einstein 
“It DOES SO fucking look like her!” -- Picasso 
“Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG fucking wall to keep them out.” -- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty 
“I can't believe I just fucking said that.” -- Patrick Henry
“Fucking backstabbers!” -- Julius Caesar 
“You want what on the fucking ceiling?” -- Michelangelo 
“Fellatio is not fucking!” -- Bill Clinton 
“Where is that fucking pizza guy?” -- Elvis 
“Why? Because its fucking there!” -- Sir Edmund Hilary
“I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?” -- Joan of Arc 
“Scattered fucking showers my ass.” -- Noah 
“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.” -- John F. Kennedy 
“What are the fucking chances I'm going to heaven?” -- Adolf Hitler 
“Hey, where the fuck are your turbans?” -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the “Indians”.


Source: Jokes.Com

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Run @ Bkt. Subang (22/11/13). Hare: Slow Ass

Yours truly, Slow Ass, the Hare.

Guess who is the uninvited guest ?

Earned her hash name because she caught a live rooster during a hash run. Believe it or not !

Your cure for your constipation problem.

It's confirmed. Constantly sitting on ice will restore your virginity. TUVM ( Thank you very much).

In Summary

With the recent evening downpour being unpredictable and dark clouds hovering above, a silent prayer was whispered by yours truly. Arrived at the run site at about 3:15 pm and were greeted by the presence of 2 uninvited co-hares, namely Power Ranger (though he did seek consent) and Gold Digger (GD).

Half an hour later my 2 consultants co-hares arrived and Messy was quick to suggest another area. Thus we drove a short distance in from our usual spot passing through some newly built but vacant houses. 

The last minute change caught yours truly unaware and not adequate hash signs were made and have to do a quick McGyver thing. There were some complaints but eventually all found the new parking area.  (As a general rule, follow the direction of the last one until you see the next sign).

Just as we were about to go in at about 4:10pm, scribe was duly informed that the usual FROP's were away at a Gasing Do in Lumut. Instinctively, yours truly goes into a cautious mood, a quick mental note to keep the checks uncomplicated.  

Messy, the chief engineer, lead the pack. Loud Cock followed suit and was quick to delegate the laying of the trail to Gold Digger and yours truly was last, to ensure that the papers were properly laid. Power Ranger kept his own counsel.

At the early stage when we came across the fringes of a jungle, Messy pointed to indicate whether to go in or not and before I could answer GD read my mind and said "No". The run was mainly through oil palm and 4 checks were laid. Many would have noticed the continued presence of Wanker papers.

When we came out at about 5:40pm, home was just a stone throw away. We took a peep and saw there was a crowd. My co-hares looked at me, asking, "Another 20 mins before the run starts, shall we wait for them to go in and should we walk out ?" We chose the latter. 

Total distance covered was 4.8 km. 1st runner, Ubat, out at 6:40pm and the last at 7:20pm. Claimed that he could have been out earlier if not for the fact that beside breaking the last 2 checks, in the absence of FROP's he has to connect the papers himself.

At about 10pm, there was only a core group of 10 left. At another corner, some outsiders were having their own private party. No wanting to invite trouble, we adjourned and drove out to another location, our usual run site. Under the bright street lights, the merriment resumed. Yours truly left at about 11:30pm with the rest still continuing the camaraderie.

Last but not least 

As was expected by yours truly, when we came out before 6pm, Laurel was quick to admonish me, " Eh, you don't practice what you preach ah!! " Those of you who have been reading my blog will know how I advocate that hares should not be seen before the run start. On that count, I'm guilty as charge !

During circle when Music Ranger was asked to comment about the run and he succinctly mentioned, " It took 3 batangs to set a pussy run". Couldn't said it better, considering collectively the 3 Batangs have clocked close to 100 years of hashing. Again as the hare, I take responsibilities. Guilty as charge !

Other misdemeanors include complaints of not enough papers at the start, absence of hash signs at strategic points which induced members into confusion of where the car park is. Again, guilty as charge !

With so many offenses being committed, if you were the judge, would you direct your jury (ie You! You! & You!) to come to a verdict of "Guilty", where the sentence will be to hang the hare on high ground and tickled his toes so that he'll be constipated with laughter (yah, you've read it before somewhere) or dismissed today's run due to technicalities and ....... ahem, I'm being narcissistic here, he's a nice guy, we'll give him an On Down, make him sit on ice with his pants down so that all the girls, oops I meant the gays can admired his bump, (which was what I did anyway during circle.) Sentence passed, case dismissed. Next one please !

My 2 Cts Worth.

Granted today's run maybe 'pussy' in nature, but would you want a 'lang cheow' run like what were experienced of late, getting lost in the jungle, coming out at 10-11pm, muddied, treacherous and jungle bashing terrains. I rest my case. 

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KLANG HASH

K - Klang Hash House Harriers & Harriettes is our registered name. We are commonly known as KH4 or Klang Hash.

L - Let is be known that we have been hashing every Friday since 13th November 1981. That'll be 32 years and counting.

A - And we celebrated our 30th Anniversary Do on 4 & 5 Nov 2011 at Genting Highland. The event were attended by close to 700+ participants from near and far. Were you there ?

N - Now if you were to come as a guest, you're assured of a Run, plenty of Golden Fluid, Good Fellowship and All Night Long Camaraderie. 

G - Give yourself a shot if you have not been to a hash run before. It'll be something you remember, hopefully the Good, could be some of the Bad but for what it's worth, not the Ugly.

H - Hashing is not for everyone though. If you are an extrovert, like sports and Beer is your "cup of tea" you are likely to embrace hashing. 

A - And as hash does not discriminate, any Tom, Dick & Harry are most welcome, provided you behave accordingly.

S - Since we are a mixed chapter, ie male & female, our members consist of married couples, singles, old and young, aunties and uncles etc etc. Simply put, just like rojak, but well flavored. 

H - History will record that KH4 suffered a major crisis in the 80's which caused the club to de-registered. Theses issues have since been resolved and though there were no turbulent times we do face the occasional stormy seas but were able to sail through with capable leadership. Our current membership strength is 80 +

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Run @ Tmn Tun (25/10/13). Hare: Blow Job

Having his oxygen (ciggi) break before the run starts.

It was murmured in the wind, "God created Loud Chick to teach all the hash ladies how to tittup." Yah, go ahead and google the word!

Hello. My name is June but my friends call me Ah Lian. I want you all to be my friend, so call me Ah Lian aahh. Can or not ! 

Or better known as Uncle Seah. Having a sojourn in Langkawi. In his younger days, he was the SCB (short cutting bastard) king in KH4. Still is whenever the occasion arises.

His ladies guest was the cause of umbrage to Music Ranger at last week run. Hope sitting on ice will improve his hashing sense.

 Getting his Deepavali bonus from GM.
 The coroner. Oops, sorry. I meant crooner ..... of hash songs. When he sings, it will be "music" to your ears, depending on your alcohol level.

In Summary

An overcast sky with rain clouds looming but that didn't deter a good crowd waiting patiently for the GM to sound the On On call at 6pm. As usual, starting trail was short walk up on the tarmac and then turned left and the expected 1st check a short distance away.

Meandering through the usual path we then arrived at the bungalow houses, the Penchala link area for a check. Those familiar with the area, would have expected the paper to go up. Indeed it was. A short climb, the papers deviated left and probably have some thinking of a reprieve. It was not to be. We had a Mother of all Climb, a 1km stretch as Ubat was quick to emphasize.

What followed next was pretty routine in this area, a couple of ups and downs, crisis crossing the fence area and a good runout for the runners. When we were going up the fencing area again, Laurel was in his WTF ( what the fark ) rant and scribe was about to contribute my share when surprisingly we hit the tarmac road and provide a relief to yours truly, as we know home beckoned.  (Thus my WTF rant shall be reserve for another occasion.)

Almost a 2km run on the road to the car park with the front pack in at about 7:15pm. Battery Rosak & Sir Iron Head were ladies men as they were considerate enough to accompany their ladies guest out at about 8:30pm. Distance covered was approx 6.8 km.

Circle time was the usual boisterous affair. GM was giving some reminder about some redundant hash commandments with Iron Head being the main culprit and JM storming into one of his verbiages. There were probably some twisted interpretations and members having short memories, whether it's alcohol induced or not, will continue to repeat these peccadillos. 

Let common sense prevailed unless one is prepared to say, "enough is enough it's cibai say bye bye" time. (My apologies for the strong word but I'm trying to get the message across).

My 2Cts Worth

With Hardcore, the sifu of this area, as one of the co hare, any lingering fear of a long run was diminished. He has mellowed and left his Animale days behind .... hopefully. Taman Tun is one of the few "civilized " spot in the Klang Valley and any notion of jungle bashing, treacherous terrains, leeches or getting lost are very unlikely. 

All said, a decent clean run, good workout followed by the usual blah blah stuff, nothing dramatic and an evening well spent and no dirty laundries for the missus to clean up and for those who have maids, you have put a smile on their faces.

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