Thursday, April 24, 2014


Some if not all of you would have noticed the refreshing look of the latest newsletter and the compliments made to the new On Sec, Baby Chameleon. Let's hope it's not the case of new broom sweep clean and we look forward to more of these.

This blog shall reserved it's comment for the time being but I'm sure the On Sec have got ideas of her own and let's hope the forth coming ones will be more interesting and something that we look forward to instead of being mere pieces of article that one read and discard immediately or look uninteresting to flip beyond the first page after seeing the Hare Q page.

But I would like to say my piece on 2 subjects.

Firstly, attendance book. This is not the first time that it's being enforced and I'm willing to bet (any takers?) that it won't be the last. Unless I'm proven wrong, every time a new committee has been formed this 'brilliant' idea will be mooted. This have been going on the last couple of years!

Members will be dutifully signing in and out the attendance book for the first couple of weeks. After that amnesia steps in and one of the committee will be tasked to do the job. All will be hunky dory and the circle will start again and no amount of sitting on ice or punishment meted out will remedy this problem.

As you read this, some of you will be thinking, wah this Slow Ass, only know how to write and talk cock. You so clever you go and do lah! Hold your horses, mate !!!

While I don't have the perfect solution, this is my 2 cents. EDUCATE! EDUCATE! EDUCATE! Human nature being such, we are creatures of habit and on the flip side, we also tend to take the easy way out if there are no rewards at hand, so why should I sign in and out, if there are no threatening issues at stake.

Back to the "E" word again, for a start, ensure that members know where to sign in/out every week. You may get 50% of members to do it initially, but doesn't matter. Ensured that those who do remind those who haven't. It may take 3 weeks, 3 months or for that matter 3 years, but once these routine have been ingrained into our grey matter, it become a habit and no one need to be told on what to do next! Voila! Problem solved! 

Right? Wrong? Anyone care to give their 5 cents or dollar worth? 

No one should be tasked to take down the attendance at all and we should continue to EDUCATE instead of delegate. If at the end, these simple tasks cannot be instilled into the members head, we surely are on the way to suffering from mental retardation, for want of a better word and no apologies for sounding so crude. 

To live up to my 2 cents, if yours truly forget to sign the attendance sheet for 3 consecutive weeks, please enroll me into a mental institution, where I heard you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave and serve me recycle beer, where an unpublished study on homo sapiens species has shown that constant consumption of this liquid will help the brain cells to regenerate. Fellow members are most welcome to join me should they feel to need to so the same.

The next piece, Sweeper. 

Again this is not the first time the idea was suggested. Previously this issue died a natural death due to only one cause ...... implementation or shall I say, non implementation and compliance.  While we don't deny the fact that the idea is good, asking the hare to be the sweeper for the next run or requiring the hare to delegate the task is easier said than done. 

If signing the attendance is a chore, can you imagine getting one to be the sweeper! The odds of striking a lottery is anytime higher compare to this. So what's next ? Before I offer my 2 cents, oh no not again, I can hear the riposte. (At least I'm contributing, are you? )

The irony is that you can't insist or demand that this be done. If one choose not to be the sweeper what can the club do? And we know that there are many recalcitrants around! Sack or suspend him? That will be the day! Sit on ice or cold shower? No big deal, compare to being the sweeper. Deny him his golden fluid? Be ready for a verbal confrontation and if cool heads does not prevail, probably fist fights! 

Think for a moment! Why do people get lost in the jungle? Because they don't follow papers! Or they try to short cut and lost their sense of direction! Or coming in late and doing catch up, knowing very well that you may not be able to! Will the sweeper solve these problems? It's a no brainer, right!

If you are hashing long enough, common sense will tell you that if you are amongst the back runner you should stick together, which most if not all the regular LROP's (last runner on paper) in KH4 does anyway. Currently, the 'unofficial sweepers' Battery Rosak and Gold Kuntz and on certain occasions there maybe others, are doing an excellent job. By appointing a sweeper they maybe duplication of tasks and another problem may arise.

Instead of creating a problem, why don't we give recognition or reward those who are already doing the job. Surely it won't burden the club financially if we reward these 'unofficial' sweeper(s) a beer or two after a run for their unselfish acts. It feel good to be appreciated, I'm sure you'll agree with me. 

Having said my piece, members probably have other ideas or suggestions. Throw the questions to them and for all we know we'll be surprise at what they have to offer..

People getting lost in the jungle are mostly through acts of their own making. As we know, the papers are there for a reason and if hashers choose to deviate from the trail, no amount of 'sweeping' can solve this problem. 
Last but not least..... hashed smart, don't be a hero, keep a look out for your fellow hashers, you may never know when a favor will be return. We come to the hash to enjoy ourselves and not to create inconveniences or burden others. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

Run @ Aman Puri, Kepong (4/4/14)

Hare/Co Hares: Prince Charming. Assisted by Left Ball, Messy & Early Bird.

Weather wise / Attendance: Cool evening with about 40 ++members.         

Joint Run ???: Those who arrived early would have noticed a big crowd and some unfamiliar faces. Apparently another chapter, Friday Hash House Harriers was also sharing the same runsite as us. There were a number of SYT (sweet young thing) and hot chicks amongst them. Cartoon and Laurel were salivating and probably hoping to get them into their wish list.

Beer man woes!: Everyone were surprised to see the presence of our ex beer man Ravi, as it was reliably heard that he was axed from serving us as his company could not fulfilled their beer quotas. He did us a favor today as the current one from Klang was reluctant to come due to the distance. GM, Messy announced on the box during circle that we may switch back to long cool dane, Carlsberg.

For those not in the know, that was the original beer of Klang Hash for maybe 2 decades and well served by their beer men until one smart alec decide to switch to GAB Tiger and we have been having this occasional problems of the beer men services since. 

The Run: As being scribed many times by yours truly, the notoriety of the hare knows no bound. Today's run was no exception. As was told by Yak to yours truly, he being one of the FROP's (front runner on paper), caught up with the hare at certain stretch and not only that, yours truly also met up with the 2 co hares, Left Ball and Messy while climbing up a hill. I stopped to check on some papers that were veering left but was told by them and the others behind me to proceed upwards instead.

When the hare was questioned by Kernel during circle whether he recced, he gave a big yawning "NO". With that Kernel rest his case.
Back to the run proper, those who completed the run would have noted the hare's notoriety at play, one moment here, the next there and if he fancy a uphill, up he goes and goes and goes.....! During the home stretch, we have to go down a steep incline in pitch darkness with protruding pipeline and slippery steps and thereafter an endless home run of 3km+ as attested by one of the runner. Last runner out at almost 8:45pm

While some were smart enough to detour or short cut thereby missing all the 'fun', Toy Boy expression of the run told a truer picture. He sat slumped on the bench, water one one hand and staring into the night. When scribe tried to engaged him in a conversation, he'll hardly murmured a few words. But the happiest person had to be Rooster cos she was the last one on paper and if she had not being advised to turn back she would have come out after 9pm with some wadderfark remarks!

Circle: Newly elected Joint Master is still having stage fright, judging from the way he spoke on the box. Mild mannered, few words, not the Bomba Mike that we all know. GM promised to give him a crash course in public speaking so that he can be more garrulous the next time he goes on the box.

Freshly mint and a SYT herself, Baby Chameleon was doing a commercial for her company, pharmaceutical giant GSK, Glaxo Smith & Kline. The wrong protocol was followed and was advised by the floor to go through the committee first.

The Final Word ..... : A leopard can never change it's spot, can he? So we'll try not to tame the hare for fear of what he may metaphor into ! We'll leave him at his instincts best .... or worst ! So come prepare for what he may throw at us when he hare or co hare a run. Regardless, I'm sure he has the best  interest of us at heart.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The Race Is Over !

Congratulations to Messy and the newly elected committee for 2014/15. Members have spoken and decided that they are the ones who are going to chart the course of KH4 for the next 12 months or so.

My sincere thanks to the cast and crew of THE TEAM for coming in, despite some unfavorable comments and feedbacks. To quote, " It's better to have fought and lost then to have never fought at all." Thanks for keeping the faith. 

Now the dust has all been settled, let's continued to enjoy our weekly runs. But .......  don't forget to contribute where necessary, criticized when there are relevant points to raise without any fear, question the committee when you are in doubt about matters of the club.

Do we have nefarious intentions by doing so? Are we being pugnacious? If one can't see the woods for the tree, it boiled down to the noble intention, "WE LOVE KLANG HASH !"

As for yours truly, this blog will continue to say/contribute/write/criticize and what not it's 2 Cts or $2 worth! Readers of this blog would be by now familiar on the my way I scribe. I may sound mordant at times and caused certain vexations to those who happened to the pun of my article but I can assure you that there were never ever any malice intended. 

On! On!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Race Is On !

When the list of nominated candidates for the coming AGM were announced by the GM on the box last week there were some oohs and aahs, but generally not many surprises for those who can read between the lines.

But something unprecedented was in the making. Never in the history of KH4 AGM have all the posts being contested, with the exception of the Inter On Sec. Is it good? Definitely! It showed democracy at work and the vibrancy of members willing to challenge the norm. 

Another 1st was giving the floor to the contesting GM, ie yours truly and Messy to say our 2cts or $2 worth. Let's hope that these are not one off affair but regular practices in the AGM's to come.

Another positive outlook of this AGM is that there are members, old as well as new ones who are willing to serve. All was needed were some enticing, encouragement and a sense of purpose. To quote, "Ask not what the club can do for you but what you can do for the club."

There were some nibbling in yours truly ears on certain concerns and doubts with the names but all I can say is if you believe in me, just keep the faith. Look at things on a bigger picture and not a parochial view. I've the best interest of all parties concern. While it is difficult to please everyone, the interest of club and getting the job done are the main priorities and we must not lose sight of that. Even have been written and said and there are nothing more to add.

The finishing line is in sight. Come this week, 28/3/14, members must decide on what they want and cast their votes. There maybe some surprises or maybe none at all. Like I mentioned before, at the end of the day, whoever are elected there must be only one winner, ie KLANG HASH and not any individual. All must close rank, be magnanimous and move on. 

After all, we joined hash for the purpose of enjoying good fellowship, having our weekly doses of golden fluid, a good sweat out, an opportunity to escape from the noises of our spouses (for the lucky ones) and not to have any animosities, blank faces and WTF's looks staring back at one another. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The Team - Cast & Crew

With the nomination papers submitted to the On Sec last week, the cat is out of the bag, if it isn't out already. There will be some wriggle tongues, opinions being formed and maybe a conspiracy theory being propagandized. For what it's worth, let hope it's mostly good and people being people, could be some of the bad but let there be none of the ugly's, which I'm optimistic there won't.

I hope that a vote for me will also be a vote for THE TEAM. Eventually whoever gets voted in must close rank and move on. Ultimately, there must be only one winner which is Klang Hash and not any individual.

The Cast & Crew of THE TEAM :
GM: Yours truly, Slow Ass. (You be the judge. Was running in KH4 in my 30's. Still growing strong in my mid 50's. Hope to be still hashing into my 70's).

JM: Pubic Hair. (Stimulated in thoughts. Ready to put them into actions).

On Sec: Song Bird. (Her adorable self. No intro required).

Asst On Sec: Rooster. (Another adorable with a ready smile, but not to be mess around).

On Cash: Early Bird. (KH4 SYT, sweet young thing. Everybody favorite gal, ah.... almost everybody).

Asst On Cash: Bird Nest. (Ex SYT. Her glamorous days are over but is now ready to serve).

Committee Members: Left Ball, Yakiti Yak, SIr Iron Head. (The macho men of KH4. Ready to help the damsels, guys and gays in distress. Only need to ask).

The Pessimist View: Wah, this fella, can do the job or not? That fella, aiyah, put him or her inside the committee surely it's a puppet on a string! That shit stirrer, if in the committee, sure die one, the club! You know that one, the last time almost put the club in shit house ah! Want to vote for the fella again.

The Optimist View: Excellent. Good team. My vote goes to them. They have served the Club before with good distinctions and it's good they are making sacrifices to make a come back for the betterment of the Club. A good mix. 

The Neutral's: You voting for who ah? Tell me I also follow you. Everybody asking me to support this fella that fella. Aiyoh, very difficult lah! Who is in also never mind lah, as long as they don't screw up the Club.

While in an ideal world, it's my fervent wish that all the members of THE TEAM be elected but we don't live in an ideal world and at the end of the day it's the member who are going to decide. 

Nevertheless, come 28/3/14, it'll be a great pleasure if I can make this announcement. 

"Welcome aboard flight MH 370 (oops, typo error), correction, Flight KH4 2014/15, all crews and passengers. This is your captain, Slow Ass speaking. 

Thank you for coming aboard. This journey will take approximately 1 year. During this time we may encounter some stormy skies and a few turbulence but I can assure you that we'll not disappear from thin air and cause needless anxieties.

I can't assure that this flight will take you to the land of milk and honey. What I can ensure you is that we will do our best so that you'll have an pleasant journey with a few adventures along the way, if all passengers play their role. Should you need any assistance, the crew will be most please to entertain your request.

If my navigational skill are cause for concern, you are most welcome to give your input to ensure that we heading on the right course. From time to time, there'll updates on 'weather conditions', 'fuel consumption' and any info deem relevant. The success of this flight depends on the co-operation of everyone. 

Refreshments will be serve and do take your share. Should anyone misbehave during this flight, passengers must do their civil duty to keep the recalcitrant at bay and should the passenger show further opprobrium, we will discard him at mid air so the this flight is not jeopardize. 

Once again thank you very much for your kind attention, ladies and gentlemen. Please be seated. Cast and crew to your respective stations. We are ready for take off."

Friday, March 14, 2014

To be or not to be .....Answered !

To be or not to be ??? It's no more a question ! Answered ! It may sound surprise to some, was expected by a few and probably some WTF's ( wadderfacks !!!). Aaahhh ???

A calling has been made by members and for what is worth, I'm contesting for the GM post at the coming AGM. Before mortars and bricks are thrown at me or handshakes offered, this was not a overnight decision. I'm been mulling over this the past month or so and because I love KH4 more than myself personal sacrifices has to be make.

I may lose some friends because of this decision (hopefully it's only temporary, just likes politics) along the way but this will surely test what true friendship is all about. 

There is no personal hidden agenda. Neither do I have any axe to grind by contesting for this post. Just to borrow a phrase from Messy, " GM come, GM go, but Klang Hash shall remain." Unfortunately, there is only one position for the GM post and if there is a contest, someone will not be elected. Likewise for the other positions.

At the end of the day, all must close ranks once the AGM is over and move forward so that the eventual WINNER is KLANG HASH. If I may further add," No one is bigger than the Club."

If for some strange reasons you've the the silly notion to think that some smart alecs have influenced me to contest I can only say, "You are ignorant as ignorant can be! " 

A contest shows that we are a vibrant club and not a herd mentality. We practiced democracy and more importantly we offer member a choice. 

Last but not least, here are some quotes to ponder:

To lead people, walk behind them.
Lao Tzu

The real leader has no need to lead, he is content to point the way.
Henry Miller

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have vision. You can’t blow an uncertain trumpet.
Theodore M. Hesburgh

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.
Lao Tzu

Together we are better.
John Paul Warren

Leadership does not depend on being right.
Ivan Illich

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
George Patton 

This is just the beginning ......... On! On!

Sunday, March 9, 2014

To be or not to be .... that is the Question!

A $1,000,000 question? I'm not Bill Gates, so that's not likely to be the case.

A $10,000 question? If I'm a narcissistic I'm probably say yes but I believed I'm not so this does not apply.

A $1000 question? I'm being what I'm, that'll be the more appropriate value, but you people will be the judge.

A $100 question? For the time and effort it's definitely under value.

A $1 question? If majority perceive it to be so that I'm an asshole.

Watch this space!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

10 Reasons Why You Should Join The Hash

1) "Life is like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what you gonna get." So is hashing. Every run will turn out differently even though we may be running in the same area repeatedly and you'll never know what you gonna get at the end of the day. An easy run! A fcuk up run! A bloody long, kau kau run! That's for starter. The real fun and fellowship begins later part of the evening during the 'circle'.

2) No qualification is required to be a member. The hashing fraternity does not recognize intellectual. You can be stupid as stupid does and no one gives a damn, whether you are a doctor, engineer, lawyer or janitor, as long as you abide by the rules of the club.

3) Hashing is not a race. There's no price for coming out first. Thus, you run, walk, hobble at your own pace, depending on your health condition and fitness level. Some common sense are require at times when you encounter some difficulties during the run.
4) It's easy to make friends in the hash. In hashing, we welcome you with open arms and not the other way around, unless you are an true anti social where your true dwelling should be in the cave.

5) Beer is our best friend and by drinking beer we shall be best of friends, even though there are some non drinkers in the hash. What enticed them to join the hash? Is it the girls, guys, gays, exercise, camaraderie etc etc ??? A little bit of everything, perhaps !

6) Hashing helps you to de-stress. If you are all stress up and no place to go, hashing is the antidote. Beside having your regular dose of exercise, you can speak freely any obnoxious languages conceivable, doing obscene acts, talk cock and bull stories, without having dumb blank faces staring at you. A small caveat though, do it in moderation. You never know someone maybe having a short fuse on the day and decided to explode. 

7) You don't pay exorbitant fee to be a member. Memberships varies from each chapter to chapter but only a small sum compared to what you are going to pay to join one of those gyms in town. An added bonus in hash is that you get to enjoy some of those 'freebies' mentioned above for free. 

8) Hashing is found in everyone corners of the world. Should you be traveling and miss the hash bug, you can always contact one of those local chapters and they will surely welcome you with open arms and if you are lucky, maybe with open legs too! ( Just joking! )

9) Just like politics, there are no permanent friends or enemies in the hash. Today we could be quarreling and the next we would be sitting down having a beer or two, as if nothing had happened. But playing politics is not encourage or condone in the hash. Anyone doing so will not only have dumb blank faces staring at you but also some smart alec's giving you the middle finger and a true asshole telling you to fcuk off !

10) Hashing is an inexpensive sport. At best you need to invest in a good pair of trail shoes for the serious runners, whereas the casual ones would need a pair of comfortable foot wear for jungle trekking. That would be your only investment. As for attire, there are no needs to buy all those expensive branded stuff. Over the years you would have accumulated tons of T-shirts which you are unlikely to finish wearing in a lifetime and not forgetting all the freebies and goodies that are occasionally given out at special 'runs' to commemorate an event.

HyperSmash Pingates