Run @ Bkt. Subang (22/11/13). Hare: Slow Ass

Yours truly, Slow Ass, the Hare.

Guess who is the uninvited guest ?

Earned her hash name because she caught a live rooster during a hash run. Believe it or not !

Your cure for your constipation problem.

It's confirmed. Constantly sitting on ice will restore your virginity. TUVM ( Thank you very much).

In Summary

With the recent evening downpour being unpredictable and dark clouds hovering above, a silent prayer was whispered by yours truly. Arrived at the run site at about 3:15 pm and were greeted by the presence of 2 uninvited co-hares, namely Power Ranger (though he did seek consent) and Gold Digger (GD).

Half an hour later my 2 consultants co-hares arrived and Messy was quick to suggest another area. Thus we drove a short distance in from our usual spot passing through some newly built but vacant houses. 

The last minute change caught yours truly unaware and not adequate hash signs were made and have to do a quick McGyver thing. There were some complaints but eventually all found the new parking area.  (As a general rule, follow the direction of the last one until you see the next sign).

Just as we were about to go in at about 4:10pm, scribe was duly informed that the usual FROP's were away at a Gasing Do in Lumut. Instinctively, yours truly goes into a cautious mood, a quick mental note to keep the checks uncomplicated.  

Messy, the chief engineer, lead the pack. Loud Cock followed suit and was quick to delegate the laying of the trail to Gold Digger and yours truly was last, to ensure that the papers were properly laid. Power Ranger kept his own counsel.

At the early stage when we came across the fringes of a jungle, Messy pointed to indicate whether to go in or not and before I could answer GD read my mind and said "No". The run was mainly through oil palm and 4 checks were laid. Many would have noticed the continued presence of Wanker papers.

When we came out at about 5:40pm, home was just a stone throw away. We took a peep and saw there was a crowd. My co-hares looked at me, asking, "Another 20 mins before the run starts, shall we wait for them to go in and should we walk out ?" We chose the latter. 

Total distance covered was 4.8 km. 1st runner, Ubat, out at 6:40pm and the last at 7:20pm. Claimed that he could have been out earlier if not for the fact that beside breaking the last 2 checks, in the absence of FROP's he has to connect the papers himself.

At about 10pm, there was only a core group of 10 left. At another corner, some outsiders were having their own private party. No wanting to invite trouble, we adjourned and drove out to another location, our usual run site. Under the bright street lights, the merriment resumed. Yours truly left at about 11:30pm with the rest still continuing the camaraderie.

Last but not least 

As was expected by yours truly, when we came out before 6pm, Laurel was quick to admonish me, " Eh, you don't practice what you preach ah!! " Those of you who have been reading my blog will know how I advocate that hares should not be seen before the run start. On that count, I'm guilty as charge !

During circle when Music Ranger was asked to comment about the run and he succinctly mentioned, " It took 3 batangs to set a pussy run". Couldn't said it better, considering collectively the 3 Batangs have clocked close to 100 years of hashing. Again as the hare, I take responsibilities. Guilty as charge !

Other misdemeanors include complaints of not enough papers at the start, absence of hash signs at strategic points which induced members into confusion of where the car park is. Again, guilty as charge !

With so many offenses being committed, if you were the judge, would you direct your jury (ie You! You! & You!) to come to a verdict of "Guilty", where the sentence will be to hang the hare on high ground and tickled his toes so that he'll be constipated with laughter (yah, you've read it before somewhere) or dismissed today's run due to technicalities and ....... ahem, I'm being narcissistic here, he's a nice guy, we'll give him an On Down, make him sit on ice with his pants down so that all the girls, oops I meant the gays can admired his bump, (which was what I did anyway during circle.) Sentence passed, case dismissed. Next one please !

My 2 Cts Worth.

Granted today's run maybe 'pussy' in nature, but would you want a 'lang cheow' run like what were experienced of late, getting lost in the jungle, coming out at 10-11pm, muddied, treacherous and jungle bashing terrains. I rest my case. 

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KLANG HASH

K - Klang Hash House Harriers & Harriettes is our registered name. We are commonly known as KH4 or Klang Hash.

L - Let is be known that we have been hashing every Friday since 13th November 1981. That'll be 32 years and counting.

A - And we celebrated our 30th Anniversary Do on 4 & 5 Nov 2011 at Genting Highland. The event were attended by close to 700+ participants from near and far. Were you there ?

N - Now if you were to come as a guest, you're assured of a Run, plenty of Golden Fluid, Good Fellowship and All Night Long Camaraderie. 

G - Give yourself a shot if you have not been to a hash run before. It'll be something you remember, hopefully the Good, could be some of the Bad but for what it's worth, not the Ugly.

H - Hashing is not for everyone though. If you are an extrovert, like sports and Beer is your "cup of tea" you are likely to embrace hashing. 

A - And as hash does not discriminate, any Tom, Dick & Harry are most welcome, provided you behave accordingly.

S - Since we are a mixed chapter, ie male & female, our members consist of married couples, singles, old and young, aunties and uncles etc etc. Simply put, just like rojak, but well flavored. 

H - History will record that KH4 suffered a major crisis in the 80's which caused the club to de-registered. Theses issues have since been resolved and though there were no turbulent times we do face the occasional stormy seas but were able to sail through with capable leadership. Our current membership strength is 80 +

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Run @ Bkt. Beruntung, Rawang (8/11/13). Hare: Cockpit

Ample parking space with plenty to spare.

One Man Show due to absence of GM and RA

The most obnoxious guy in KH4, in his song as well as his language. If ever there was a contest for vulgarities he would win it hands down. 

Succulent BBQ & roast pork that melt in your mouth. Needless to say there was no leftovers.

Who's These Fellows ! What The Fark ! Ouch it hurts !

In Summary

Being the first time KH4 is running here, everyone arrived at the run site without any complaints. The GPS co ordination and well described details in the newsletter surely helped, not forgetting the well placed hash signs. We parked our cars at some abandoned shophouses and the surrounding residential areas looked like a ghost town with hardly any residents.

When Kernel arrived at about 5:30pm he was queried by a few, " Why you didn't go in and set the run." "Intelligently" he replied, "I'm not the hare!", which was of course his better half, Cockpit. 

At about 5:45pm, the consultant co hares came out and most of us were inquisitively observing their attires for any signs of 'kau kau' run. Baby Chameleon (BC) was the targeted person and many were anxious to probe her for details about the run. Her soiled shoes was a subject of inquiry and she was quick to reply that if you have 'ostrich' legs like Prince Charming (PC) (not the exact words, but something to that effect) then it shouldn't be a problem but otherwise ...... ? We'll soon discover during the run.

GM was still on his extended vacation and JM, not on one of his somnambulism moments, was punctual in calling On! On! at 18:00. Terrain wise, it was reminiscent of days of hashing in the 80's, rubber estates and oil palm, a runner's terrain, no major climb and no detestable soggy trail.

The  4 checks were well laid and it managed to hold the pack together, with the last one at the pond area causing a slight delay as the 2 FROPs, Lucky Cock & Ubat and the 2nd group comprising of Laurel, Sir F.Low & Guest Ah Bee, being too far apart to hear them shout On On, thus making us do an unnecessary time wasting back check. 

Surprisingly in the midst of the rubber estate we can across a shiggy, a puddle of water with a 3 foot floating log which some may have tried to balance themselves crossing it but ended up ankle length soaked in their shoes, thus the mystery of BC soiled shoes solved ! Juicy claimed that she was able to skimmed through without getting wet. Fat chance ! Unless she piggy ride on somebody or she has found a Super Hero in KH4 that we are not aware of. 

1st runner in at about 7:20pm and the last at 7:55pm. Total distance covered was 7.5 km. JM have the stage to himself due to the absence of GM and the 2 RA's and have to be at his witty and oratory best to keep the crowd from turning boisterous. 

To welcome back Music Ranger after a two weeks absence on the recent brouhaha, JM asked him to take the box as the stand in RA in which he delivered his responsibilities with panache, by putting those chatterboxes on ice, almost getting an ovation from the floor.

My 2 Cts Worth

This area have all the ingredients of a good run site. Ample parking space. Away from prying public eyes. Good running terrain of rubber trees and oil palm. Easy assessibility via the highways. But conspicuously missing were existence of hash papers which will clearly indicate that this location is not a favorite amongst the hashing fraternity. Wonder why ? 

Credit to the hare other half, Kernel for living up to his hashing endeavors, ie to continuously discover and find new run sites for Klang Hash. Those of you who have ran long enough would surely recalled Kernel many discoveries, which he did while he was in his noble profession, chah fay kay. (Not tah fay kay aahh !!!). 

Being airborne and few thousands feet above sea level, it offered him a panoramic view below and he is able to spot a good run site miles away. Not only that, he does an airborne recce too ! He has since retired and but that has not diminished his endeavors. 

Back to today's run, due to his medical conditions this run was "sub-contracted" out. His maxim has always being, "Minimum 3 recces" which the consultant co hares didn't do.

Chances of getting lost in a rubber or oil palm estates are rare. If you have a good sense of direction or use a compass, setting a run in this area would not be a problem. The way the trail was laid indicated that this to be so. As PC was quick to confess, taking into consideration the distance covered, under another circumstances today's run would have been screwed !

Why Is Beer Better Than A .......... !!!

Why Is Beer Better Than A Woman 

1) Beer is always wet.

2) A beer doesn't care when you come.

3) Beer never gets a headache.

4) Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.

5) You can share a beer with your friends.

6) You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.

7) You can enjoy beer every day of the month.

8) Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.

9) Beer never have relatives that stop by and stays for weeks.

10) You can have more than one  beer and not feel guilty.

11) Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

12) Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.

13) Beer is never late.

14) You can enjoy beer all night long.

15) If you change beer you don't have to pay alimony.

16) A beer is always satisfying.

17) A beer won't tell you it's pregnant for fun.

18) Beer doesn't complain when you are farting.

19) Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

20) Beer never cries or get jealous.

21) Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.

22) Beer doesn't demand equality.

23) You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.

24) Beer never threaten to go to a lawyer.

25) When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.

To even things out here's ........

Why Is Beer Better Than A Man

1) Beer makes you feel better who you have a period.

2) Your beer will wait patiently in the car while you try on shoes at the mall.

3) Your beer never suffer performance anxiety.

4) A beer doesn't snore.

5) Beer doesn't get drunk and call you at 3am to beg.

6) I never met a beer with a criminal record.

7) You can pick up a beer in a bar right in front of your mother and she won't mind.

8) Beer never has a bad temper.

9) You can have more than one beer in a night without feeling sore.

10) You can talk to your girlfriends about beer without getting pissed off.

11) You don't have to fake a beer. Beer has no ego.

12) A beer isn't ready until you are ready.

13) A beer will never make fun of your new outfit.

14) A beer doesn't hate your cat.

15) You can get six at once without taxing yourself.

16) A beer doesn't mind if you don't finish.

17) A beer last longer than seven seconds.

18) A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.

19) Having a beer can't make you pregnant.

20) A good beer is easy to find.

21) Beer goes where you want it to.

22) No woman ever got stood up by a beer.

23) You don't need a restraining order with a bad beer.

24) A beer won't expect you to cook dinner if you are not ready.

25) A beer won't mind if you are not in a mood for beer.

CHEERS EVERYONE.

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Run @ Greenhill, Punchak Alam (1/11/13). Hare: Silent Gorilla

 Want some quick $$$ ? Pls call the number. Or feeling lucky ? Select your 4D forecast.

Silent, Prince Charming et al. Parcel? A busy body who wants his picture taken.

All raised please! We gonna sing the National Anthem. Oops, sorry. Slip of the tongue, not the fault of the mind. I meant to say, " Here's direction to Cockpit's run next week." 

That's how you spell her hash name, just in case you don't know. How I know ? Cos I'm the one who baptized her, in comparison to Jennifer Lopez the Hollywood actress, maybe not totally but surely sexily in one way or another.

JM shying away for fear of getting caught in the act together with Parcel

 See story below.

 1st Friday of the Month is Sarong Day in KH4. These were the non compliant group. Cartoon being the youngest and having the juiciest ass volunteered to sit on ice.

Q: Who's the most good looking guy? A: Second from right. That'll be ....ME ! Those who guess correct pls collect your beer from me on 22/11.

In Summary

Wow! This run site seems to be a favorite of late and also the flavor of the month as we'll be running here again on the 29th. Probably hashers taking opportunity of this area before it's occupied and out of bound by then. 

JM was deep in thoughts before he was reminded by scribe it's time to start off the run at 6pm. Having run here twice it's rather predictable where the in and out trail will start and end. 

In queue, everyone followed the lead pack led by Sir Farter Low. The 1st check was just after the abandoned Indon settlement, which was easily broken. It swerved right and going downward. From the stretch on, it was a new trail, mainly virgin but not dense jungle and as we moved along the peripheral sound of vehicles could heard on the right. 

We seem to be go in and in and then came across the 2nd and final check. As Laurel duly said, "It has to go up", which it did. A massive gradual climb and when daylight was spotted at the horizon we made another detour downwards. Sensing a long run, JM plus a few short cutted at this point.

As we plotted along, the rain came, making the trail slippery at certain stretch. (  Another dirty laundry to clean up for the weekend. Fcuk !!). All said, we were to make another descend and climbed another peak till we hit the lights at the construction area and saw a group of about 10 members, who somehow managed to avoid the second hill, for a good 15 mins walk back.

1st runner back at about 7:20pm and the last group 'mercifully' rescued and coming out at 11:20pm !!! Total distance covered 4.05km. New members Oily Larry and Alex were separated from the pack and somehow managed to find the way home, via the Punchak Alam road. They couldn't find papers and were smart enough to look for lights and sound of vehicle, coming out at about 8:30pm.

The lost pack of 7 members communicated via mobile to state their position but somehow shit, sorry chief co hare, Prince Charming (PC) was as cunt-fused as them on their location to advise further.

When circle was over and members well satiated, a search party was organized. Leadership by example, JM led the pack together with PC and Ubat and managed to rendezvous with the lost group and brought them out at the said time. Hare was smiling gleefully and passing out 100+ upon seeing them coming out at the in trail. 

My 2Cts Worth

Enough have been said and written on how a run should be set and so forth and  I shall not sound like a broken record, least someone will said, " Eh, you smart alec, why don't you do your share of the 'dirty job' and co hared a run ".

While a hare is never driven by schadenfreude when members get lost in the jungle due to his over zealousness in wanting to set a good run, common sense and a level of consideration must be in order as we never know what may prevail in the jungle as history in KH4 have shown, though not many but one bad episode is good enough to piss you off for a lifetime.

For those with short memories and newly joined members, those who have witnessed and experienced those torrid situations would be most please to share their experiences ...... again ! No beer required

P/S: Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. Just go to the column below and bang your 2cts / $2 worth. It may earn you a beer or two. On! On!

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10 Ways to Simplify Your Life and Reduce Stress

Stress. No matter what you do, no matter how you do it, and no matter how positive an attitude in life you have, you’ll still encounter stressors that will make your day a tad bit more difficult. Though stress is inevitable, it does not mean that you are helpless in its face. You have the power to take away some of the stressors and reduce the impact of ones that you cannot avoid.

Simplifying your life will make you less prone to stress, because often time more does not simply mean more, but more equals to more stress. So while a simpler life might not sound too enticing, you’ll find that it will actually improve the quality of your life a lot.

Here are some ways you can simplify your life and reduce the stress you feel every day:

1. De-clutter – The space you live in is a reflection of your inner self, so the clutter around you reflects how much peace you are. While de-cluttering won’t automatically give you peace of mind, you’ll significantly help yourself by making your environment less stressful it you keep in nice and tidy. De-cluttering your bedroom, bathroom, workplace, and even your bag might not seem much but it will make your life easier as you don’t have to keep on scrambling around for lost keys and have a clean inviting bed to lie down on at the end of a stressful day.

2. Buy less – You’ll have a hard time keeping your place tidy if you keep on buying and hoarding stuff. So stop buying things, unless you absolutely need them. You’ll be surprised at how much throttling down on your shopping will do for you, as it helps you develop to be a more responsible person not only in your spending habits but also your shopping choices. Less purchases means less stuff and clutter, more savings and sense of accomplishment, and more important, less stress in life.

3. Reduce dependencies - It isn’t just stuff you need to cut back on to simplify you life. Instead you need to cut back on all kind of dependencies to make your life more efficient and less stressful. This may come in the form of friends without whom you can’t go out to have some fun or in the form of gadgets, which people are increasingly getting overly dependent on. By reducing your dependencies, you give yourself the freedom to continue with your day with or without the people and things you’ve grown used to having with you. It does not mean cutting them off your life, but only your sense of dependence so that there’s less potential for stress whenever they’re not there for you.

4. Unplug regularly - As mentioned above, people are getting increasingly dependent on gadgets. To stop this as well as the intrusion that gadgets often bring (e.g. ringing phone when you’re meditating or trying to sleep), unplug your gadgets regularly. It may be every day at the end of the day or just once a month. The point is to unplug so that you can completely focus your attention on other important things in your life, be it meditating or spending time with your family.

5. Stop comparing – Comparing yourself and what you’ve got with what other people have is a surefire way to get stressed. No matter how good your life is and how much success you achieve, you’ll always find yourself lacking if you compare yourself with others. So stop looking over your shoulder and learn to appreciate yourself and what you have.

6. Take time to enjoy the simple things – Instead of comparing, you need to take time to enjoy the simple things in life. This will ensure that whatever situation you are in, you’ll be able to find something to smile about and somehow alleviate the stress you feel. It can be something as simple as the nice weather, the smile on your baby’s face, or the smell of sizzling bacon on the pan.

7. Talk to a toddler – Over thinking things is a problem common to many. I know it sure is a problem with me. So sometimes, just to help me get a mindset reset, I talk to my wonderful toddler. Their answers and stories might not seem sensible many times, but if you just really listen they will remind you of what’s really important in life – the simple things that makes kids so joyous and carefree.

8. Reassess your priorities and goals – Your priorities and goals will determine the areas in your life you can cut back on and which ones you need to put more effort in. It will be hard to have a satisfying simplified life if you end up cutting back on things that are the most important to you. So figure this out before you go to tips 9 and 10.

9. Say NO more often - If you’ve been blaming your job, your family, and all your other responsibilities for the super hectic life you’ve been leading, then here’s a wake up call for you… You really are the one to blame! If you want to live a simpler life, a life that has a slower pace and is more restful, then all you really need to do is to learn to say NO. This means saying no to peers, people you love, enticing opportunities, and more important, to yourself. You have to say NO to things that are not at the top of your priority list so that you can say yes to the things that are more important to you. It might be stressful to do this if you’re not used to it, but it’ll get easier in time and will be the best stress-buster of all.

10. Learn to delegate – Saying NO does not mean completely turning your back on responsibilities and new opportunities. Instead, you can simplify your life and free up your time by learning to delegate. This may mean hiring a new assistant at work or teaching your kids to load the dishwasher. By delegating responsibilities and tasks to capable and trustworthy individuals, you can still get things done without having to do everything yourself and without having to worry that things are not getting done the right way.

Article credit : TheDailyMind.Com

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