Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Many Faces of Klang Hash

This article is for reading pleasure only and it's not meant to insinuate or put anyone on a pedestal. Any resemblance to anyone, past or present, is merely coincidental.

Here goes :

The FROP's : Front runners on papers. What would a run turn out without them. Diligently breaking the checks and shouting On On and connecting papers. Only a handful of 5-6 members.

SCB's : Short cutting bastard! The 'King' is currently having a sojourn in Langkawi. The usual suspects who would take every opportunity to short cut during a run. Only a small number.

The Non-Finisher : Go in on the in trail and subsequently find their own route back before the rest. Their own version of exercise. Consist of mainly the geriatrics, lazy bones and any excusable reasons to go for a stroll only. Burning calories is not a priority. (Not to be confuse with the SCB's.)

The Kiasu Runner : Want to be the 1st runner out. Run off and shout On On with a whimper when breaking a check and considered job done, so that he can be in front of the rest. Glad to say there aren't any but the occasional bad habits do creep in when that person is on a testosterone high to show off his machoism.

Private Partiers : Having their own private party when circle is in session, oblivious to the constant reminders from the box to remain silent. Their ignorance knows no bound. Capital punishment should be enforced as a deterrent. As the hash song goes, " They odd to be public be pissed on. They odd to be public be shot. They odd to be nailed to the shit house and let there to fester and rot. " This is a perpetual thing every week. At times there maybe numerous private parties going on. (Who is brave enough to stop the rot !!!)

The Silent Ones : Exact opposite of the above. Sitting comfortably in their stools, they hardly uttered a sound when circle is on. Probably only an earthquake will shake them off their comfort zone. A minority group. 

Non English Speaking Members : Quite a fair bit here. How they managed to stay in tune and attentive when circle is on is something scribe cannot comprehend as our lingua franca is English.

Non Beer Drinkers : Again, something scribe cannot comprehend. Beer is synonymous with hashing. Why would a non drinker want to join the hash if he or she doesn't enjoy the taste of the golden fluid ? Exercise ? Well, there are many ways of doing it. Hot chicks & sugar daddy ? It happened ! Anyway, we're glad they came along as they contribute to the club coffers.

Music Makers : With their guitars, flute and bongo Klang Hash orchestra is in session, usually after the circle. A small knitted group. 

Hash Choir : To complement the above, usually led by the Grand Daddy of them all, as his repertoire of hash songs cannot be matched by anyone in KH4. This sing along session, unfortunately, drew the interest of only a small crowd.

KGB : A spy in KH4 ? Actually, it denote Klang Garbage Bin. Given to an ex member who is able to devour all that it placed on the dinner table, plus a few additional bowls of rice. With him around, there can be no leftovers and if you are not quick enough when dishes are served, he'll hungrily gobbled up before you could even smell the aroma. Mind you, he's not an obese person !

Don't Fuck Around With Me ! : Only one person can said it with conviction and meant what he said. The rest are impersonators.

Hash Bards : They may sound like a broken records but the songs are still music to our ears. Occasionally, they come out with a gem.

I AM GM : Some aspirants out there. Stand up and be counted. Don't hide behind a mask. Pingates

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